BlueDemon77
By BlueDemon77, 24 August, 2012
Participants
BlueDemon77
weirdelf
Beauregard
scribbler
judyanne
Rula
Ian.T
arja
China Blue
Roscoe Lane
docmaverick
Barbara Writes
Skill level
Shark Pool
Date
-
BlueDemon77

we know the rhyme scheme is one thing
we know it's not as valuable as the dripping truth
there's nothing I can tell to you
yet somehow messages get through
I like many have suffered at the belly button
and I'm not sorry
"a shaman is borne of trauma" they say
not sure about that but I fear not a thing
my voice may be piccolo or double bass
it's my voice....whatever
I feel the pain allows certain things
a trend ingrained, when hurt exists
a move occurs to enigmatic places
it took me 40 years of study to not
give a damn. I know the truth
it brutalized me, and again I'm glad
for what I've had, mixed bag, left foot limp
and laugh because I'm happy

Ron

S

Not sure I'm a good enough open form poet to swim with sharks yet but I'll think about it.......................stan

weirdelf

or will be if I have to maul you in the process. Well... maybe nibble a bit.
You I would welcome sincerely.

weirdelf

If you can't participate fully because of other commitments that's ok.

I know you, in so far as anyone can know anyone online, and anything you have to offer, when you can, will be worthwhile.

judyanne

hopefully this will work in well with the critique workshop
and also hopefully i will have time lol
love judy
xxx

Rula

Rula

12 years 8 months ago

you accept me in , as we have finished the (Rhyme patterns WS part 1) with Stan.

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 8 months ago

There is NO scientific reason that life should be taken seriously.

Poetry as a speech platform:-
Be it political or any other reason, where the writer tries to put his thoughts out to try and change another’s beliefs is laughable, really most poets are stuck in their own grove most of the time
Philosophical output from a poet:-
Philosophy being the study of general and fundamental problems, such as those connected with reality, existence, knowledge, values, reason, mind, and language, this is where you need to be a true writer.
Philosophy is distinguished from other ways of addressing such problems by its critical, generally systematic approach and its reliance on rational argument, a no nonsense write.
Emotion:-
Well if we need to talk on Emotion in poetry then where do you want your ashes spread ?????
Metaphysical:-
Hey!, this is where we all become rather vague and have that look on our faces when writing, a being, that struggles with being. lol
Metaphysical science, which explores the non-physical aspects of reality, by its very nature cannot accurately measure or collect data using the five physical senses.
Probability tracks have no signposts!!
Scientific way:-
The fundamental purpose of scientific discourse is not the mere presentation of information and thought, but rather its actual communication.
It matters only whether a large majority of the reading audience accurately perceives what the author had in mind.
Therefore, in order to understand how best to improve writing, we would do well to understand better how readers go about reading. Such an understanding has recently become available through work done in the fields of rhetoric, linguistics and cognitive psychology.

Now to poetic forms:-
I know they have not changed just been added to, it is too much work for me to learn all the in's and out's now, but it is wonderful to be able to achieve just one line of, " Pentameter "

Humour:-
This to me is a good thing in poetry it brings in Rhymes and mostly no reason but who the hell cares if it makes one person smile it is worth more than anything.

We need humour, or you can spread my ashes in the doldrums off the coast of Africa ASAP. I have trimmed this piece so that I can be called another name..
Love you all Yours Ian.T

weirdelf

You really could have edited that long piece and said just as much.

It has been my long (5 years) experience on Neopoet that people don't read word walls. Please edit it.

This edit of my comment makes the following thread irrelevant. I am deeply sorry Ian.

Please re-consider joining the workshop.

BlueDemon77

Thanks Ian!
Thanks for the thorough and interesting post. In many ways I agree with you and in many other ways I don't. As for life, it's here, so I believe in it. I agree pretty much across the board with you otherwise except in the emotional category. I think you've underestimated the emotional aspect; specifically the wooing of lovers (in my case women). As a man married 12 years to a woman I don't deserve who looked in my direction because of a poem (and many subsequent ones), I consider it a high use (and function) for poetry. Also, many of my challenges with poetry have to do with not letting inhibition or the worry of what will be thought of me getting in the way of what I truly mean to say. So fearlessness, finding complete naked honesty, courage and discipline I've required of myself from poetry. Then there is the craft of form, which we aren't addressing so much in this workshop. There are times I curse writing, but most of the time I am most thankful. You are so correct when you talk about humour. I also know of no other art that eases a thoroughly broken heart except for perhaps playing the blues guitar. Poetry and life are combined. It's a way of trying to reach the interstices I think. It is also perhaps the purest way I've found to access the hearts, minds, and souls of others.

Ron BlueDemon77
.
PS I don't think there is anything wrong with a long post.

Ian.T

Ian.T

12 years 8 months ago

My piece titled Ron's introduction Is my first part of the "workshop" which i haven't joined yet..
But if anyone out there think I am going to write any more on the first part of his workshop then, there are some choice Anglo Saxon words I have at my finger tips, just crying to be punched out on this keyboard..
Yours Ian.T and Group (Yenti and Sparrow etc:-)

Ian.T

That the world turns,
We have so little time here
Let us strive for perfection.
You in your poetry and all things you believe
Me in all the things that I believe.
But it's one hell of a struggle.
That's what makes life have a value beyond words.
Go well young Elf, and know that we are here always,
Yours Ian.T & Friends

weirdelf

I promised to behave in this workshop and failed. I will try harder.

Please join, I believe you have much to offer and learn.

BlueDemon77

I'm sorry, I applaud long thorough posts with meaning, which you have most definitely provided. Discourse and sharing are of utmost importance to me. I think you're done saying what you say when you indicate so. I want to hear what you have to say.

Ron BlueDemon77

Ian.T

Your age has no bearing on your Knowledge.
Your thought patterns are beyond your years, there are many things to learn of, they will be influenced by many but always hold your own council and balance the universe, in your mind, if to you it is good seek out why.
The day to day things you fear, religion, philosophy, politics or any other controversy-spurring topics, this is where wisdom comes in.
You can always list these things and reason them out on paper but life will teach you these things.
If you hear someone shouting about any of these things then think, " Why",
Yours Ian.T

BlueDemon77

I understand. Any writing you do will be a blessing. I do caution you to give yourself more credit and to speak your mind. Apologies and revisions are there for a reason. I've been through that and looking back, I always wished I'd stated my mind. To me that is a key point, not letting fear get in the way of the voice. To me you should revel in your unfinished-ness or whatever. Frankly I think you'll find you feel much the same way later. You for sure deserve your opinion on any subject. Don't fear, tell us.

Thanks Beau!

Ron BlueDemon77

Rula

Rula

12 years 8 months ago

Your thoughts shall shape the world -at least around you. Never fear this. We all make mistakes and learn from them. Just do it and write.By the way,I've never felt that you are 19 or 20 years old.You're pretty maturer.

Ian.T

You made me laugh, and that is great..
I am 20 in January, that was lovely.
I am 71 in march III Don't Don't Don't Know Know Know Etc: X 3 plus a bit years.
You have so much to look forward to, it mattes not what anyone says is a beautiful place to be, to learn, and live, just go with the love of all.
Yours Ian.T

loved

loved

12 years 8 months ago

have your own
CREATIVE STYLE
for heaven sake
DO not persist to remain in cocoons of archaicity....

poetry/ˈpətr/
Noun...Literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm;...
A quality of beauty and intensity of ï‚…ï‚…ï‚’ï‚’ï‚’ï‚’emotion ï‚….ï‚’ï‚’ï‚’ï‚’regarded as characteristic of poems: "poetry and fire are nicely balanced in the music".

Definition: Poetry is an imaginative awareness of experience expressed through meaning, sound, and rhythmic language choices so as to evoke an ï‚‘ï‚’ï‚’ï‚’emotionalï‚’ï‚’ï‚’ï‚’ response. Poetry has been known to employ meter and rhyme, but this is by no means necessary. Poetry is an ancient form that has gone through numerous and drastic reinvention over time. The very nature of poetry as an authentic and individual mode of expression makes it nearly impossible to define.

eï‚•moï‚•tionï‚•al ..adjective ï‚…pertaining to or involving emotion or the emotions.
subject to or easily affected by emotion: We are an emotional family, given to demonstrations of affection.
appealing to the emotions: an emotional request for contributions.
showing or revealing very strong emotions: an emotional scene in a play.
actuated, effected, or determined by emotion rather than reason: An emotional decision is often a wrong decision.

Ian.T

It would be a good thing for Neopoet for you to join this workshop, now we have many on board of varying outputs it will be a challenge to you.
I challenge you to join, we need your points of view, and work output, Yours Ian.T

BlueDemon77

I wrote the introduction poem for a couple reasons. 1.) I wanted potential workshop members to not be intimidated (while I meant it, it's just not that good), and 2.) I wanted to set the tone of honesty. Whether I did that, who knows. I can't wait to see what we bring. Certainly no one should be intimidated. I'll be in there for heaven's sake, it should be pretty easy for you to look good. It's not important to me to look good, I want to hear the words of the talented group of poets cutting loose. Come join us.

Ron

arja

arja

12 years 8 months ago

..although we have different time frames, every discussion is documented here..so I belive time is not a reason not to join (as previously informed)..unless the workshop is full..any requirements I might be needing in order to enroll myself!? ...ummm, i'm a bit scared as well..but I'll never know the consequences of such action unless I try...so would there be a slot available for me?

China Blue

Is there still a little corner of your workshop that I can stick myself into this sounds like it is going to be very interesting

weirdelf

My bad behaviour in leading workshops has caused people to avoid them. So I have assembled a great team of various abilities, knowledge and skills.

You would be welcome back as a workshop leader, Chrys, if you would like to. You came up with some of the most creative workshop ideas.

China Blue

got to write something first
I'll consider leader Jess thank you for the offer and kind words

China Blue

Will this work or did I miss the mar

The power of transcending thought
A vast virgin field waits, open to exploration
so little is known about how a mind works

I would like to believe this is possible
glimpses of this unknown entity
have passed through the portals
of this persons thoughts

If one concentrates will the words
flow to a recipient?
yes,they can and have

How many would believe this so
or would it be brushed away as crumbs
of insanity?

BlueDemon77

but you answer your own question, which I appreciate, as it is one of mine as well. Transcending and Transcendent thoughts are there and can happen to those who open themselves up for them as we do in here. I was once asked by Ian if my experience limits my imagination, my answer.........not yet, but it doesn't come from me, I just facilitate it.

Thanks Chrys

China Blue

I've posted to stream this morning so I am being told I cannot post again for 24 hrs how do I submit as a workshop post?

judyanne

if we post to the stream first we have trouble posting to the workshop
i'll copy and paste the solution she found

EDIT: In order for the new submission change to work, it appears that your workshop poem DOES have to be submitted first.

If you make the mistake I did (submitting your one-a-day poem first), follow these steps to fix the issue:
1.Open your one-a-day submission
2.Click edit
3.Change your one-a-day poem to a workshop submission
4.Save it!
5.Submit your actual workshop poem
6.Make sure to submit it to the workshop
7.Save it!
8.Return to your one-a-day submission
9.Change it back to a regular one-a-day poem
10.Save it!
11.Done!

xxx

weirdelf

at your worse you are a Hallmark card. At your best you are a remarkable poet. You can't be both. Choose. Choose meaning, value and integrity, or be just be a bad meaningless poet.

BlueDemon77

I have been away looking for work and a new home in Austin, TX, as told to several members of NeoPoets. Rula, please stay. My name is on this workshop and workshops are made for learning, kindness, and sharing or disagreement between those who love poetry. I will read everything and give my honest say
. Rula, as you know, I've admired your poetry for many things including your noble honesty and choice of challenging subjects. Your voice here is a vital addition.

Ron BlueDemon77

judyanne

i have posted a poem, and commented on everyone else's

do we / can we post again?
love judy
xxx

weirdelf

it merely means they are not used in a rigid pattern. You can rhyme, use meter, any poetic device you like, just not in a repetitive structured form. The essence of the exercise is to say something memorable. Create a "meme", an idea that spreads like a virus, or an otherwise memorable impression of emotional, philosophical, spiritual, intellectual, ideological or sociological impact. Other things are valid, as long as it is strong and memorable (not necessarily memorisable)

docmaverick

...could l submit an effort? I realize l'm tardy, but would like to at least, try.
thanx,
doc.

weirdelf

remember to put the workshop name in your title, and remember to choose the workshop when you post it.

weirdelf

You've been Shark Pool quality for a long time. The only thing holding you back is your under-estimation of yourself.

Remember to choose the workshop option Mindful Memorable Freeform: The Challenge when you post a poem.

BlueDemon77

I wish to thank the poets who posted or commented in The Mindful Memorable Freeform Workshop. I wish to thank Jess (wierdelf) who co-lead with me and moderated the workshop for his valuable help. I was very pleased with the level and amount of work submitted and the open and depth forum for communications about submitted poetry.
Thanks so much for the lively forum and all the great work. I think I shall seek to do another soon considering the amount of willing participation in sharing our original freeform poetry.

It was a true pleasure! Thanks again!

Ron

(BlueDemon77)

Description: Poetry has many levels, from trite, mindless Hallmark card text to work that transcends meaning. This workshop will concentrate on coaxing out the most emotional, philosophical meanings,and metaphysical content from our poetry.
We will begin with a discussion that explores serious content. It certainly does not exclude humour, but the import is to have something serious to say in a philosophical, emotion, metaphysical or scientific way. Let's do this.

The second stage will be to write a poem with the intent of producing a profound effect on the reader. Yes this is the Shark Pool.

The third stage will be to give critique on each other's poetry.
This will be tough, join us to achieve our mutual potential.

Leader(s): BlueDemon77, weirdelf,
Moderator(s): weirdelf

Objectives: To attempt to mutually work our most profound creations together

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter: Freeform serious poetry

We surpassed the October 4, 2012 deadline because we continued to get good submissions. At last though, Jess and I have agreed it's time to close the Mindful Memorable Freeform workshop. Many thanks to all who participated with submissions and critiques. Happy Holidays!

Ron
BlueDemon77