Poem Body
The crunch of crisp snow,
white snow,
bright snow,
the crack of twig,
the sharpness of the icicle above,
the weighted load,
its shift,
the swish of skis across the lake,
or through the wood.
The sound of space
so quiet,
stilled
around our beings,
wrapped into the world.
We huddle to keep warm,
we watch the stars be born,
the light of dawn is dimmed,
as the sun journeys on,
on its shortest day,
over the sky, above the grey.
Comments
very nice and i don't like
very nice and i don't like snow x
hello
A truly quiet winter day is rare due to cold air carrying sound better than warm. You did well in describing one. You might try deleting "snow" in lines 1 and 2 and see if you like it better...........stan
I rather liked the repetition
I rather liked the repetition of the snow,
in a sort of musical manner,
as it is layer on layer.
"In the bleak mid winter,
frosty wind made moan,
earth stood hard as iron,
water like a stone,
snow had fallen
snow on snow,
snow on snow,
in the bleak mid winter,
long ago."
I expect I was remembering this by Christina Rosetti
one of my favourite Christmas songs-with the tune.
Some of those songs are still ringing in my mind
at this time of year. Even though I a not religious,
we used them to cheer lonely people on Christmas Eve.
Now we celebrate the feast on that Eve in Norway!
Have a happy time, and thank you stan and sueb,
I think you might like snow more when its crisp,
the sound is so wonderful as one walks.
And one doesn't feel as cold as when its damp like Britain,
where I was in my childhood.
Love Ann.
Hi Ann
Thought that might be what you were after. Might you find one more line such as "pure snow" or such to add in and reinforce the repetition and then have a stanza break? Just a thought................stan
I like threes stan
But it might work that way too. Its almost a bit laboured with four, I feel!
LuvAnn.
Ann
A lovely crunchy write, full of visual words and thoughts, who is lucky you have the snow we have the rain..
It is a climate change for us here we will have many more very wet winters and bad dry spells at any time of the year. Southerly winds here moving Eastward dropping tons of water here most days, we here as you know in Loughborough area get cut off so easily by the river Soar.
Oh well I have done the shopping it can do as it wishes.
Have a beautiful Holiday, love yourself and all around you more, as I guess you do, Yours Ian.T
Thank you Ian, yes I remember
Thank you Ian, yes I remember taking my skis and trying to find a hill, to start with, in Leicestershire, we found a slight incline, but the snow had whiskers of grass sticking up though it, and was so wet that the glide was hindered terribly, so it wasn't on.
Love to you and yours and all your rain, it would be awful without rain I feel, I love it on my face, looking heavenwards, we like to see it after several months of snow!! Ann.