Poem Body
Alone in the park
I'm left alone
Soon wears the dark
I'm all alone
Not a spark of hope
I'm still alone
With the dreadful bark
Some fears die
Others grow
Alone
Aug 01, 2015
This poem is part of the workshop:
Storytelling in Verse (sempiternal): The Horror Story
The Abandoned Child (Horror Story WS)
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Many stories go around about moms who abandon their children...Alas!! I thought the repetition of word alone to bring a kind of dreadful feeling. What does everyone else think :)
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
I know
horror stories are usually tend to be more effective when a bit lengthy. I thought short can be sometimes effective though.
I was...
prepared to find more when I hit read more and at first was disappointed. Then I read it again and found that it left much to the imagination and what I could imagine was more horrible that what you had written! That, I think is the key to writing this horror-story, stirring the mind of the reader to reveal all the horrible things that might have happened. Well done! ~ Gee
Thank you Gee
You got my intention!!
I'm glad to know it worked well with you.
You made my day!!
Thank you
Rula
So much loneliness in so few words, I have just put on a piece from my thoughts on the "Great Bears Wisdom" I wrote a few years ago as a complete set of the Wisdom.
Called "Walk Alone"
Yours is sweet and I know that you will never be alone, so I worry not..
Yours Ian..
I agree with Gee
It's what's between the lines... the obvious fears... that is the horror story.
I might have found a more childlike way to say the last line. The story to me was about a child, but the last line is very adult.
I agree sir
About the last line. I didn't like it either.
Hope it reads better now
Much better.
I hear the child only.