In the score of my life,
at that time where it was scripted
that I would meet you,
was also authored
the beginning of our goodbye.
But, before that farewell reached its finale,
your cavatina was written.
And that melody lingers forevermore
in the song of my soul.
.
Comments
but also scripted,
but also scripted,
before that farewell reached its finale,
all our stories
and your cavatina too...or something like that
just my suggestion. The first and second verse of the second stanza seemed to be struggling a bit.
otherwise, a good plotting of the thematic idea
just me,
yes - thanks Al
The second stanza bothers me too
thanks for the suggestion... I'll think it over...
love judy
xxx
I've taken a leaf
out of my own book lol
- what to leave and what should leave....
What do you think now?
xxx
works for me
works for me
could 'cavatina' prosper from an adjective...i.e. lovely, or heartfelt, or pleading etc.
you know best the sentiment implied... you fill in the blank, I think it would help the reader understand the feeling of the melody you are carrying
hi Al
Thanks for the suggestion
not sure that cavatina needs an adjective.... his solo in the middle of my symphony... it wouldn't be one emotion per se....
But I will take it on board and think about it...
maybe the descriptive needn't necessarily be an emotion.....
love judy
xxx
Hi Judyanne
I must concede that I had not come across the word "cavatina" whioch made me look for it and know that it means a simple song...so after reading again this certainly runs like a simple heartfelt song with a sentimental touch..
Much love n hugs..
cavatina
A musical term
More than just a song, it is a short and simple melody performed by a soloist that is part of a larger piece.
Thanks for the visit and comment Raj
love judy
xxx
Hi Judyanne
Such an incredibly emotional poem - your use of cavatina is particularly poignant and heart warming.
Sigh: So well written
Love Mand xxx
hello Mand
Lovely to see you *big smiley face*
Thanks for the kind comment
glad you found it emotional
I've had a bit of trouble with this one ....
I've even changed it yet again....
Love judy
xxx
Hi Judy
Not any more I hope - it's perfect as it is! :) Thanks for the big smiley face. Hehe
you are a poet
and
also a sculptor
let me look up cavatina
new words 7 I learned
in 15 minutes
lovedly
Thank you
xxx