anonymass-hole

Poem Body

lips too small and thin
nose too potatoed
ears prompting Spock jokes
eyes too beadily hazed
beard too patchy
hair uncut, sleepishly tossed
teeth way too small and bent
cheek bones too high
chin pointing at you, somehow
eyebrows too low knotted
hairline too scared and running
jowls looking to wrinkle sagged
belly too round, held in forever
feets too big
knees bowed wide and knobby
and a cock
that could play
left tackle for
the steelers

this yellowed grin
that eats shit daily
sings such songs
anonymously

About This Poem

Last Few Words: this needs a lot of help. any suggestions?

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Austin, TX, USA

Comments

F*** yes!

Love it, man! Soooooooooo glad to see you back.

feets too big? it works for me for the effect.

hello t_f,

This is a portrait of my next door neighbor! And an picture advertisement for ageing. Loved it!

this yellowed grin
that eats shit daily
sings such songs
anonymously

always, Cat (& eddy)

Balls

Great Poem man
aging is graceful??
ha
gravity and its profound effect
funny as my gut gets bigger
with age and my underwear
has to be smaller so I dont
sit on anything tender with
my fat ass!!!

great poem...that Bukowsky or whatever
would have loved this!!

Thank You!!

damn!! lol!!!!

i'm only thirty! that's my fault, though. guess i know now what i need to improve this one.
now i feel pressured to actually post a pic!

Ha shit at thirty I couldnt write like many here

and getting to that age where I need the support was
humbling but practical (Diapers next if I Make it
hell thats my goal!!) A great poem! youngster!!

(From I-might-as-well-be-fifty dude)