Poem Body
not all us men are rapists
but we dare not walk with pride
in case we fall into the chasm
of the amazon divide
many men agree with
the endeavour of your stride
though it seems we are not welcome
like our hands are best kept tied
we still have each other
we’re on the same damn side
lets fight the real enemy
the corrupt anointed snide
appealing to your virtue
with not so much to hide
together lets move mountains
and broach that great divide
Comments
okay excuse my french but
I am a HUGE FUCKING FEMINIST. thank you for writing a poem about feminism I have been waiting for it forever. but seriously I must demand that you remove the first line. revise it. just never, never ever, use the phrase "not all men" when you're speaking of feminism. it's a pitiful phrase, because it puts the spotlight on the fact that guys who don't rape people do in fact exist, and takes the spotlight away from the rapists. putting the spotlight on rapists is the point. never take the spotlight away when it's there for a reason.
I see here that you're speaking of man-haters. man-haters are not real feminists, just so you know. I like this, and my only crit is the first line. now that you've written a poem about one of the issues with feminism, I beg of you, write a feminist poem. I feel like you could do that really well. anyways good job
mag
Are you saying it's good . . .
. . . good for the community to say "all men are rapists" and crush the souls of young boy's before they even form their sexuality? To say "not all men are rapists" is just a simple fact said in response to the "all men are rapists" chant that poisoned the eighties and held us all back.
no
that's not what i'm saying. it is a fact, and thank god it is a fact that not all men are rapists, but usually the phrase "not all men" is used to detract attention from whatever bad thing is being discussed. instead of saying anything about rape in the first place you could say something that DOES apply to all men. something like "all men are responsible for having safe consentual sex," but i suppose that doesn't flow as well lol. just a thought, like i said, i like the poem.
yes I agree with you
I thought about it and if I figured changed the first line the rest would fall.
I do know what you're saying about apologist phrases. They are pitiful. However in this case the first line is the subject and I speak from the heart. Thanks for your feedback . . . it's valuable and when you made your demand was unsure how serious you were. Had to check. It's a wonderful world.
yes
I really like this
But, unlike mag, I like the first line
In fact, I don't think you are trying to put the spotlight on rapists
I understand this to be spotlighting those males who are not, and feel for the feminist issues.. so I wouldn't suggest that you change anything
Great rhythm and rhyme
love judy
xxx
"the corrupt anointed snide"
Fucking brilliant line. Aren't moments like that why we pursue our "craft or sullen art"?
As to the rest. Man, I've lived the struggle growing up with six sisters through the sixties. We can't win, because it isn't a war, but "together lets move mountains
and broach that great divide".
Cool bananas, mate.
oh, and that title
Perhaps some Zippy the Pinhead "Are we having fun yet?"
or even cranky kids in the back of a car that have been travelling so so long.
comment section...
zippy the pin head...omg...I used to read that back in the day..
well....I am a confrontational...ultimatum kind of chess man..
if I played chess..and I did for a time with the ex....
my mother was always sharpening her claws on me...Literaly
had these pointed red nails on strong hands...give me a hug
then dig them into me...and argue...she loved it...
and I picked the same women over and over..still!!
tried to figure em out..Only last year did I give up...
realizing that I had been avoiding meeting myself!
what a shock..\
been working more attention on them rather then my
verbal detentions like some hall monitor...
deflate the ego.....oh dear...not my ego!!
but I did it....and its such a smooth ride now..
Ive kept a few crocs in my moat as pets
only now!!
we are having fun!
thank U
Mr Wolfy!