judyanne
judyanne
Nov 05, 2015

Aylan

Poem Body

We saw him lying on the sand.
A message from a ravaged land
that begged the planet understand.
An outstretched hand, an outstretched hand.

A red shirt paired with tiny jeans.
More potent than the war machines,
the sea wiped out that baby's dreams.
A mother keens, a mother keens.

A little body oh so still.
A promised life that's come to nil
escaping shattered vale and hill.
The world is ill, the world is ill.

An icon that should activate;
remove the apathetic state,
but still the globe deliberates.
Nought done of late, nought done of late.
.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

More from this author

Comments

wesley snow

As always I'm moved to laugh, cry or think on your poetry.
This feels like an homage to Rula's occasional pieces on the subject.
I watch the news each morning and with the advent of the cell phone I see too much of this personally.
And I take it personally.

judyanne

I've wanted to write on this since we first saw it.... but I've been dry of late, as you know. This started off as an exercise in a monotetra, and suddenly there it was lol
love judy
xxx

Rula

Rula

9 years 5 months ago

monotetra dear Judy. The image would move the stone as they say, but....a sigh here.
I wrote about the same image but thought yours is much more expressive.
Thank you for sharing.

judyanne

It's the first monotetra I've attempted....
i really like the form, but i think it needs a serious theme, and I haven't been able to find the right one. I've been wanting to write on this particular theme since it happened, but I've been bereft of muses lately, as you know.
Both wants obviously jelled, for this spilled out while i was just playing with the form.
so glad you liked it.... i remember reading your write and it was beautiful.

Love judy
xxx

Geezer

a great way to break your dry spell! I loved this one and it is superb! I am about to go look up this form, that brought forth such a serious, sober work. Maybe I can write something half as good as this! ~ Gee

judyanne

Thanks heaps
i really like the form, I'll be trying another as soon as I think of a theme....
the rules are easy

quatrains in tetrameter,
every verse (line) of each quatrain to rhyme,
fourth verse of every quatrain - last 2 feet repeat the first two feet.
can be as many quatrains as you wish

looking forward to reading your write
love judy
xxx

Esker

Esker

9 years 5 months ago

I saw the photo on the news
I remember my own baby
my daughter
whom is still alive and well
but at that age
Remember her clothes
dressing her for our day out
never thinking we would or
might try to make a dash across
a treacherous sea for a better
world...
this child is well dressed
care in clothes and thought
Loved..enough that the mother
father would want them to gave
a better happier life in a freer
land

but the seas rose up
and swallowed their hope
did they make it too freedom
at least even in a physical form?

it was very very sad and distressing
and I saw that
it reminded me of the girl in vietnam
that time whom was our age

and life goes on
like war
and apogees of crises
little angels
with briney halos

thank U !