Poem Body
I’ll be waiting by the Jordan
the far side bank where water’s clear
where sands of self are washed of dun
to wipe the veil of life’s veneer
so worry not that I am lost
I’ll be waiting by the Jordan
and by that river I have crossed
I’ll muse on what my soul has done
until your turn, when your tune’s run
and fate deems that we meet again
I’ll be waiting by the Jordan
and we’ll embrace each other then
we never lose they we hold dear
so when it’s time for you to come
come calmly, gently, have no fear
I’ll be waiting by the Jordan
Comments
very good poem
and by the rivers of Babylon... one can use the mirth very distinctively i love this, good job
thank you emeka
for the visit and very kind comment
love judy
xxx
Judyanne
a very appealing conversational toned quatern, so good that anyone will try to follow you to the banks of Jordan, to ensure that you are safe there from the cross border violence.
Once again you are a strong contender for getting voted as the best. I see two more competitors have submitted their posts for the contest...Ian and Rula...so we now have three contestants so far ..yet to see theirs.
Best of luck for the contest...
thanks Raj
it is interesting to see your take on this write
you are not christian, are you?
I've just only realised that a lot of people who have not been brought up in that particular faith may not understand this...
Great - I will get a lot of interesting comments - maybe
I love your take on it
Love judy
xxx
Hi Judyanne
Apologies if my comments have hurt any Christian sentiments. I certainly did not intend to do that and i don't believe I ever would do that...
Regards,
Raj
You have made no comment that would hurt anyone - stop being so sensitive...
the theme is based on christian myth, that's all, and as you didn't understand it i realised that other's probably wouldn't either
i will pm you the explanation, as I'd like to see if i get any more interesting interpretations :)
xxx
and in my first comment
I did say I liked your take on the write
xxx
Hi Ms. Corcoran
Follows the contest rules exactly.....The judge will be proud........stan
now, that's better
Much more respectful Mr Holloway
thank you
love Ms Corcoran
xxx
Judy
Loved this one a little on the religious side, but most accept all religious writes.
I am not sure about the word "Dun"
where sands of self are washed of dun
I know it is a sort of Brown colour but maybe I lost the context of it in this piece.
I could say replace but what with "Sin " maybe but the rhyme would be loose.
We will think about it ???
Take care out there, Yours, Ian.x
dun
1. dull, grayish brown.
2. dark; gloomy.
I think it fits Ian
'sin' centres it into a religious write -
and I'm not pushing any religion, I am more just using the Jordan for the mythology of it
thanks very much for the read and crit
love judy
xxx
hello Judy
I loved this (nothing new:) as I love all your works)
I also feel close to this but maybe in a different way than that you do as a Christian, but I think you wanted "Jordan" not "Jordon" unless I am missing something.
Did you know that I am from Jordan? In fact I am from Palestine, but both Palestine and Jordan is one land where River of Jordan crosses.
Sorry if I carried on, but I really like this one
All the best wishes dear.
lol - the error had to be
in the title AND the repeating line...
thanks Rula, for pointing that nit out
and thank you for the lovely comment
I am very glad that you like this
and, yes, I was aware that you are from Palestine
love judy
xxx
Dun.
We call dark grey buckskins "duns".
I loved this. A love poem. It is soft and precious from a couple of directions. And wouldn't you know Rula would find the misspelling. I overlooked it glaring me in the face. Some proofreader.
Wes
Thank you. I'm glad you liked this
lol, yes - the glaring errors seem to be the ones that are most often overlooked
thanks to Rula, I only looked stupid for a day :)
love judy
xxx
Judy
A wonderful piece and I learn abit about the Christian myth. Thanks for sharing.
Alid
thank you Alid
Love judy
xxx