.
a wondrous favour bestowed on me
a gem that shone in life's waters
Heaven, for her own reasons
on a sorrow-filled day
took my gift away
but not before
he'd found love
and made
you
.
.
a wondrous favour bestowed on me
a gem that shone in life's waters
Heaven, for her own reasons
on a sorrow-filled day
took my gift away
but not before
he'd found love
and made
you
.
Last Few Words: nonet..... a poem of nine lines, the first line has nine syllables, the next eight, then seven, six and so on to one.....
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Judyanne
simple and beautiful expression ..
Regards,
Raj
Thank you very much for the read and kind comment
love judy
xxx
A lovely tribute Judy
It's been long since I wrote a nonet.
This is nice. He must be happy to receive such a tender gift
But not sure about the syllable count in the first line. I thought they are ten where they should be nine?
Hi Rula
i count it :
a won -drous fav -our be -stowed on me
how do you?
thannks for the kind comment
love judy
xxx
I thought it is [wuhn-druh s]
I thought it is [wuhn-druh s]
yes
that dipthong thing again - i'm taking it that, as it is only counts as a third of a beat, it's not countable as a full syllable - I think we can play with that a bit ... it seems at the end of a sentence I want to drag the sound of dipthong-ending words out a bit - so could count it there - but I say them without needing another beat for the s or r or what ever the ending when they are within a sentence...it depends on how it sounds when we break the rules as to whether it is passable....
and i can sing 'wondrous' with two notes
thanks Rula
xxx
I think you are right
I just thought these forms are very sensitive when it comes to the syllable count.
Just thought I would mention it anyway.
We can avoid such deceiving words when it all depends on the syllable count, can't we?
What do you think dear?
I'm tickled to see a "shape" poem, I've heard it called concrete
Haven't seen one in a while.
(not to be confused with "concrete" poetry)
hi Wesley
thanks for the read and comment
love judy
xxx