Poem Body
Once forever then
no more, re-evaluating
what came before.
Time in years
a distant contract
with mortality, static
possibilities still vivid
within passing seasons.
Captured too far along to
be enraptured a legacy that
begs to be beyond the etchings
that mark a spot, a demise not
where this flesh was begot.
My seed the bleeding of this being
the probabilities of the ever after
without conceding.
Comments
Zigs
I know I read this one, but I wanted to read it again, great stuff.
Love Louise xxxx
Zigs
I can't spot typos as im the typo queen LOL !!!!
love Louise xx
hi louise
thanks for your input on this one
no worries on the typos this is a workshop
chat soon ,,,,,,,,zigs
Zigs
Zigs,
a couple of typos:
Re evaluating = revaluating (I think)
Possibilty's = Possibilities
This one runs with a fast flow and leaves you breathless. Again, I bow to your non-grammar, which allows lines to run into others with such ease.
All in all, fast, imagery-packed piece of magic!
HS
hi hood
hey there ,I am taking your second correction cheers
not a gram of grammar lol, that said every word becomes
even more important ,, cheers hood ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
Zigs
Zigs,
'Probabilitys in the last stanza should be:
probabilities.
regards,
HS
o
big red face ,oops ,,cheers
hi there
hey cheers for the kind words
I can only but try lol, that line
was one of those that came from
seemingly no where ,,,,,,,,,cheers ,,,,,,,,,zigs
I do like the almost
I do like the almost ambiguous feel of this until you bring yourself into it toward the end, the touch of abstract emotions and image in this is strong. I would prefer no 'ing' word ending and I would use 'surrender' but it's a personal thing. This is great freeform.
hi there
the ending as it is was the focus for this write
I like most have my own style of writing, I am glad you
like this one, I do strive to be a little different lol cheers ,,,,,,,,,zigs
Dear Bro,
All your striving has labored to produce. And what a production it is! Keep on being you.
love, Cat
hey cat
hey there cat I hope your feeling better I had no idea till I just read from the comments
LOL yes " all my striving " got there in the end with thanks to the above comments
chat soon sis ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,ziggy x