mand

Nov 18, 2010

Blending The Scent That Lingers On

Poem Body

Let’s start with a long lasting base note
Romantic rose would be nice
A few drops of cinnamon would add a little spice.

Blend until completely satisfied
May I politely suggest
Add a lively hint of orange for a tangy zest.

Try a touch of bouncy lemongrass
Or vivacious sunny lime
And balance with the goodness of lavender or thyme.

Mix two point five ounces of vodka
And be sure to get this right
If you get it wrong you’ll spoil the balance overnight.

Skilfully shake it all altogether
Agitate but do not stir
Then patiently wait for it to settle and mature.

Dilute with two spoons of spring water
Refine it through a filter
Purify and perfect then bottle the aroma.

It is important to remember
That when all the tones shine through
Every drop will linger a memory of you.

You have concocted your own perfume
Please don’t keep it locked away
Share it with a happy smile and use it everyday.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Comments

Hi Mand, I like this poem and

Hi Mand, I like this poem and I decided to follow its scent.

My fav stanza is this:

"Skilfully shake it all altogether
Agitate but do not stir
Then patiently wait for it to settle and mature"

I also would keep the alternate ending as part of the poem...

For me using the words *lingers on* would work extremely well... but then you'd have to rhyme it.

And now this poem reminds me of many of my loved ones who have passed on... My daughter always smells lilacs when her grandmother is near (she passed away in '85).

Hugs of love,
Anna

p.s. Almost forgot your request for help with title.... I think *blending the scent that lingers on* might work...?

Sooo nice to hear from you

Thanks Anna, Thank you for your suggestion, I have adjusted and hope it fits - what do you think?

I love your suggestion for the title, I will change it straight away.

I'm so glad your back!

I'll see if I can incorporate "lingers on" I think it fits in nicely.

Thanks Anna I appreciate the help and your reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

How about "Every drop

How about "Every drop will linger a memory of you"?

Not quite there but almost!

LOve Mand xxxxxxxxx

Hi ya Shirl!

I love this site! Your all so wonderful. I love your suggestion for a title too! now I don't know what to do - I'm a poet and didn't know it.

I'll stay with Anna's suggestion - I like the idea of it lingering on - but I really appreciate your help Shirl.

I hope your o.k

Great ot see and hear from you. I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello Xena

I really struggled with the end of this one! I had difficulty getting across what I wanted to say - still not sure it's hit the target.

Funny how a poem can start off with one idea and develop into another. LOL

Bottoms up!!! ah ah ah opps must be drunk! I mean ha ha ha. HIc Hic!

Thanks for your lovely comments Xena

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I feel complimented

And honoured. Thank you Xena!

LOve to you

Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Drank this...

one right up ! Just one one little tiny suggestion? Instead of : " If you get this wrong, you'll spoil the balance overnight". how about trying: Check it once again, let it set for overnight. ? Just a suggestion. I really enjoyed the use of anology. You did a fine job! ~ Gee

Hello Geezer!

Hope You're o.k Thanks for reading, commenting and for your suggestion - without one such as yourself were would we be.

I think this poem needs a bit of working on because I haven't accomplished what I want to accomplish.

It's about home made perfume but it is also about life and how we create a memory of who we are!
Perhaps I have bitten off more than I can chew - Think I'll just keep tinkering.

Thanks once again my friend.

Love Mand xxxxxx

Heaven's scent

Oh I love this Mand I sense the perfume in the air
around me
as I read, and know that even BOND
will swoon at your concoction,
ingeniously made.

Perhaps it might do what I expected
my first drink of Vodka would do,
literally knock me over backwards,
but it was sadly a disappointment,
I stood firm,
and
it didn't taste of a damned thing!!!!

Experience! Love to you Mand and glad you scent this!

Hello Ann

Sean Connery, I hope.LOL

I like drinking vodka and gin - they don't seem to have the same effect on me as wine!
My husband is ill if he drinks vodka - unfortunatley have to drink it all myself.Lol

Thanks for commenting Ann, great to hear from you.

Love Mand xxxxxxx