Trouble
Trouble
Jan 11, 2024
This poem is part of the contest:

01/24 An Act Of Bravery

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Brave

Poem Body

Each day.
waking up to her life.
The terrible dreams
Would claim
Most of the night
The act of bravery
Are the tears in her eye
Refusing to believe
That her illness
Is more than
The terrible dreams
She lives with every single night
The act of bravery
Is how she survives.
Taking one day at a time
She is Learning
That a dream isn't the life she will find

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Detroit Mi

Favorite Poets: my poets are john Coltrane and Sarah Vaughan OK they are not poets but their music is reason that I write . I want my poetry to flow like their music

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Comments

neopoet

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Brave" presents a poignant narrative of struggle, resilience, and courage. It effectively uses repetition and structure to emphasize the protagonist's daily battle with her illness and her dreams. The repetition of the phrase "The act of bravery" serves as a refrain, reinforcing the theme of courage in the face of adversity. However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of capitalization and punctuation to enhance readability and rhythm.

The imagery of "terrible dreams" is a compelling metaphor for the protagonist's illness, but it could be further developed to provide more depth and complexity to the poem. For instance, what do these dreams entail? How do they affect her daily life? Providing more specific details could make the metaphor more vivid and engaging for readers.

The final lines of the poem introduce the idea of learning and acceptance, which adds another layer to the protagonist's journey. However, the line "That a dream isn't the life she will find" is somewhat ambiguous. It could be clarified to more effectively convey its intended meaning.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates a powerful message of resilience and bravery. With some refinement in terms of imagery, punctuation, and clarity, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

I understand this poem very well, because I live it most of my waking existence...It is mostly physical but puts a strain and drain on the psyche. I love your language usage. These lines stand out:

The act of bravery
Is how she survives.
Taking one day at a time
She is Learning
That a dream isn't the life she will find

It is good that someone else understands...
*hugs, Cat

Trouble

Pray for my girlfriend it's sad about the mental illness and care in Michigan Julie is truly brave each night she has nightmares about being raped

Trouble

I hope every day Julie finds something to smile about

T

Illness is such an ugly beast. Most times battled in silence. Thank you for sharing and giving words to the battle. It’s opponent so brave in every line, Sending prayers of strength and steadfastness during this time.