Shamoneness
Shamoneness
Sep 02, 2014

Cacophony

Poem Body

everywhere
inside out
being eaten alive by
the fucking noises
rapidly repeatedly
and stabbing
and screaming
looking on the outside
cut me open
and pour out the plasma
so i can breathe
crack me open to
free out my thinking
the home in my head
has turned bleak and sour
the lights blinding
the wallpaper dull
the air heavy
the room empty
come uninvited
and pour yourself in
give me the ticket
to anywhere out
of this brain
trying to wait
out the trap
chaos and loss of breathe
forgetting and remembering
and renewing
who's in this skin
latent me
hiding
long for
lucid living
liberating
illegitimate feelings
mazing through mindless
mind tricks
getting closer to
self-reincarnation
restlessly craving
wanderlust and you

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Michigan/USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe

More from this author

Comments

L

Lonnie

10 years 7 months ago

Although I am none too familiar with your work, ( my fault entirely! ), I have to say that this piece displays a talent that is ripe for encouragement! You may have a few technical skills to learn as yet, but I am sure that being here on Neo will take care of that quite rapidly! I really enjoyed the general "Texture" of this poem and hope to continue reading more of your work!

Geezer

Geezer

10 years 7 months ago

I like the style of your poem and it fits the title perfectly! I'm not sure of how to critique this but like Lonnie says;
you show great promise. I hope you find a home here at Neo. ~ Geezer