hobo

Apr 09, 2011

Chasing Shadows

Poem Body

Here I go again
Chasing shadows
Things that come to me in my dreams
Real and unreal
At the same time

In my sight
But out of my reach
Shadows I can pass my hand through
But never touch
I can see
But never hold

Shadows of everything
I want to be
Lying forever
Just in front of me

My shadows forever
Trapped in my dreams

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Comments

good to write

it was good to write again, I have been in a little bit of a slump and I just wrote this one. I kind of like it but I am a big fan of mine haha. I hope you like it too

Randy

I hate that

I hate that when I am in the middle of a really good dream and I get distrubed and I can never go back to where I was lol. those are always the best dreams

Dear Hobo,

In my sight
But out of my reach
Shadows I can pass my hand through
But never touch
I can see
But never hold

It reminds me of how after I wake up from a interesting dream and the harder I try to remember it, it slips through my fingers. This is a very wistful piece. I have no suggestions, just appreciation for the work.

always, Cat

Hi Hobo

This one reminded me of life! Way off the track! How we have dreams and asperations that we hope to fulfill, somehow, for most of us, it slips through our fingers, but we keep the dream going just in case.

Thanks for sharing - I always like your poems.

Love Mand xxxxx

Forgive me, hobo,

but this is just wimpy, where is the real life? The interaction with dream and actuality. You sound like a forlorn ghost.

not wimpy jess

pathetic - NOT an insult - in the true sense of the word...

it depicts a real sorrow and sense of helplessness
'Here I go again
Chasing shadows...
... shadows forever
trapped in my dreams'

-i think you may have more argument with some of the presentation....
as i i believe hobo has captured the feelings well in this write ...

some suggestions randy... (i stress imho only)
Things that come to me in my dreams
Real and unreal
At the same time (perhaps 'simultaniously' might work better)

and
'In my sight
But out of my reach' (change 'but' to and')

just thoughts...
love judy