Come December, Reworked (For My Geezer!)

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem presents a vivid and intimate portrait of a woman contemplating her aging reflection. The use of metaphor, specifically "the apples of her cheeks and all the mountains and valleys," effectively conveys the physical changes that come with age. The phrase "stay the hands of time" is a common idiom, and while it fits the theme, it could be reworked to be more original and impactful.

The transition from the woman's external view to her internal struggle is well-executed, creating a strong emotional connection for the reader. However, the last line could be more specific to provide a clearer image of the 'girl within her mind'. Is she remembering herself at a particular age or time in her life? Specific details could make this image more poignant.

The poem could also benefit from a more consistent rhythm or meter to enhance its musicality and flow. As it stands, the rhythm is somewhat irregular, which can disrupt the reader's engagement.

Overall, the poem effectively explores the theme of aging and self-perception, but could be improved with more original language, specific imagery, and a consistent rhythm.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I find myself doing this looking back at old photos, in addition to the mirror..sometimes it is hard to recognize myself in that once happy child. So many times I wish I could go back in time with what I know now about myself and others and how I would've rewritten my story. Your poem resonated with me and was a beautiful example of what we, as humans, go through as we age and experience life.

once again, given us a look at a person who sees themselves in the mirror. I too, look at pictures of me, a younger man, and
wonder where did the person in the picture go? I saw the struggle of the older version of oneself, trying to hold back the hands of time, and wondering if it really matters. I too, hope that your recovery is swift and glad that you didn't break anything more important than a sprained ankle and a broken toe. A good look at the mind that realizes that it is all a matter of how you look at it, [the image in the mirror]. I do deplore the missing punctuation and capitalization. ~ Geez.
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Is that really you? Thank you for such a nice Christmas gift. This really made my day. Now, I won't complain, for a while. LoL
Not! ~ Geez.
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Hello, Cat,
I'm so sorry about your accident! Wow! Hope you heal quickly and are up and around soon!

Beautiful title here which enhances the entire poem. I can relate to this, too. It's sobering to think about one's age, especially when we look in the mirror. It seems it all happened so fast, and what I see in my reflection doesn't reflect how I feel inside. Well written.
Take good care!
L

Your poem reminds me of the thoughts that go through my mind when I look at pictures of a younger me. Many times, they seem to be pictures of different person in different story. Yet, when I look in the mirror, I see my grandfather staring back at me. This aging thing, in some ways, seems to be just as confusing as my teenage years.

Great poem. My favorite lines are:
She struggles to find
the woman in the mirror
in the girl within her mind!

Touching poem, the relevance grows with the years,
(glaucoma helps dull pain)

Apt title, nicely done.

Obi.

As we all grow older we are amazed to see the differences from an earlier age. Yet somehow we also can think with joy about those early days and thank God for what we have now because of those days! My
View of things.
Sorry to hear about your pains, hope you are better.

Great poem. I loved the last lines

She struggles to find
the woman in the mirror
in the girl within her mind!

A look that all older people find when facing themselves in the mirror.