Dandelions

How good it is to see a poem of your's again.
And this is good. I love the way you pull us into the present moment of blowing breath on the dandelion, and I can see you holding it up, I( can feel an indrawn breath...

I found myself pausing at the word "died", because it doesn't seem to fit, for me. Maybe "passed" instead, or "dimmed"? I just didn't see memories dying, or someone or something else passing away.

Also, I think "wish comes true" would be the right way to say it, perhaps, rather than "wish come true"?

More Janice, write more, this is good.

short and sweet like the title
its a good first draft with some good suggestions from jim
keep it up ,fav lines ,,,,,,,,,"I used to blow
white clouds
that danced across
the skies.,,chat soon ,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

persons who commented like what you have here and support their suggestions. I was thrown by “baby blues.” but no suggestions for an alternative. I like that your poem “shows” rather than merely tells. I think you could use more of that in a few other places. For example, instead of I used to blow, how about On my knees at play I used to blow.... That line, as has been noted is outstanding because it is so vivid. Cheers

I am a fan of good short poems (maybe because mine are so long winded lol) and this is both. I have no suggestions not already given just admiration.................scribbler

there is such great peace in beautiful memories. you have painted a lovely picture. I agree with Jim on the touch-up's. I hope to see you around more offen It's nice to see friends who've been here from the start..
oxoxox

We are with you and sense what you write here.
Lovely to see this and to hear that you are here again,
Love from Ann of Norway.

I could imagine actually saying this as I blew a Dandelion into the sky. It has a soft mellow quality to it.

It is so good to see you writing again! This is a delightful piece which brings back some happy childhood memories. I am glad to have read it, as it put a smile on my face.

I hope you are well and will keep on writing. I look forward to your next installment!

always, Cat

I like the poem the way you wrote it, the comments I agree with are the fact that I can feel myself as a girl blowing the white, and saved some is so deep, I bet you don't pollute and saved not only this memory, but this tradition with your ancestors (be they grandchildren it will go on and on) A lovely poem.

Loved it no improvement suggested.... You got so much advice I no longer feel I can write or post

much has already been said before me...i will just say that i find this write very refreshing ...hence the title of Dandelions fits it perfectly...i am glad that i didn't miss this one...