Poem Body
The stone crawled to the surface
seeking he who find it.
Jun 27, 2017
The diamond.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Not sure if this qualifies as indirect imagery, but here it is.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
This definitely
has a Lord of the rings feel. Like a lost treasure, waiting to be found - trying to be found even.
Jx
Aren't they all?
A much better use for coal I think.
I thought
The purpose of this ex. is more about using metaphor. I see this a bit direct. What do you say boss?
I like the image anyway sir.
Not sure about mine either.
Hmmm.......
"seeking he who find it"....do you see anything wrong with this? but I like the thought of a stone moving to the ground's surface because that's exactly what they do. i recall many days when i was a kid having to pick up the stones in our pasture which winter had pushed to the ground
I told you I didn't understand the concept of indirect imagery.
Someone please help me to do so.
OK. Maybe this will help
Unstated imagery
Submitted by scribbler on Wed, 2015-04-22 21:48
I was looking over one of the pastoral shop poems. It was the shortest one in the shop and it got my rusty brain to thinking about, of all things, imagery. This poem had little in the way of described imagery. So on first read it seemed lacking in this thing which so often separates good from excellent poetry.
But.........with more careful reading there it was, hidden Between the lines. Something I'd never really considered before. Implied imagery. Talk about the proverbial light bulb going off over my head lol. Now don't get me wrong. Stated and described imagery is still the more sure way to "paint the picture" in a poem.
But for those who value brevity or when specific imagery is not desired this implied stuff can be powerful. Eg. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood". "Yellow".... a single word which lets the reader know these are autumn woods. And by saying nothing more this allows the reader to visualize what autumn woods mean to him/her. My understanding is that in Australia autumn woods are predominately brown. Here in the Blue Ridge foothills autumn means a splash on almost every color imaginable including areas of pine green. I've lived far enough south at times that autumn had little visual meaning except the wearing of long sleeves in the early morning. The implied imagery lets the reader choose and thus more easily identify with the poem. I expect this sudden enlightenment for me is likely old news to a lot of you but I thought I'd share it anyway..........stan
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HI Wes,
I like the stone scrawling up from underground.
Could it be "He who would find it" implying someone looking for it,
or perhaps "he who might find it", implying a measure of chance?
I don't know. I don't have a clue about indirect imagery either!
Neither perhaps
or both. I gave it no thought when I penned it.
I suppose someone will find the thing.