Lavender
Lavender
Mar 19, 2024

Did I

Poem Body

I sat along this river bank, did I,
noticed the way the water weaves
from north to south so casually
as if it had nowhere to be.

I walked these wooded paths, did I,
and pondered on the speckled leaves
that fell to earth so gracefully
as if in homage to the tree.

I listened to the dove, did I,
the wren, the jay, the cheeky crow
who sounded delightful and carefree
as if they could sing endlessly.

I watched the setting sun, did I,
though where it went, I do not know.
It bade farewell so earnestly
as if in whispers just to me.

The hours within a life grow faint,
the moments spark, then fade and fly.
As I recall how my days were spent,
they were mostly wondrous, by and by.

Did I listen to the rushing river bend,
then speak with the endless blissful sky?
I've known these woods as a boon and friend -
I've had a good life, did I.
I've had a good life, did I.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

S

didn't use the repeated "DID I"s as a crutch for easier rhyme (I don't think you did).This looks and reads like something I'd have written on a good day

Lavender

The "Did I" repetition was definitely intentional, even at the end when it is used in rhyme. I was hoping to give the poem a contemplative, almost melodious feeling. I will give that fifth stanza a second look - that is where I'd go for another rhyme, I think.
Thank you for reading!
L

Rula

Rula

1 year 1 month ago

This has the feeling of raw love to nature. I like the simplicity and yet well expressed appreciation to everyday experiments.
A piece I sure would have loved to write.

Lavender

I have been very fortunate to experience such simple but extraordinary and peaceful moments.
I always appreciate your comments!
Thank you, my friend!
L