Idle Time Poetry

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The Doll - Idle Time Workshop

Poem Body

Little girl stared at the doll.
Beautiful doll.
Golden curls.
Bright blue eyes.
Sweet rosy cheeks.
It had been a gift to little sister
from Mommy and Daddy.
She touched its soft
smooth neck
and with one swift twist - Pop!
Off came its head.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A wee bit jealous.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Hi, Teddy

Sibling rivalry...it's real!
Thank you!
L

Hi, Jerry

Jealousy can be pretty cruel!
Thank you for reading!
L

lavender

ouch very astute example of jealousy short sweet and gets right to the point

Hi, Chrys

Thank you for reading and your generous comments!
L

Hello, Teddy

Good suggestion - I did, however, want the language to reveal a sense of an older sibling. I'll think that over!
Thank you!
L

Great twist...

I liked that one, for sure! Yes, I think that he [Dad], should be daddy; makes it sound a bit more childish. [Therefore more petty]. Great [twist] and yes a good pun. LoL ~ Geez.
.

Hi, Geezer

Daddy it is! Good suggestion from both you and Teddy. :)
Thank you so much for reading!
L

Lav

Hopefully it wasn't a Barbie. Those things are worth a bloody fortune nowadays if original.

This earned a great chuckle.

Hello!

No Barbies were harmed in the making of this poem. :)
Thank you so much for reading!
L