Abby
Abby
Nov 17, 2022
This poem is part of the contest:

Something you long for?

(Read More...)

Dream - Something you long for

Poem Body

Time is a great thief
Watch as it creeps into veins
Floods the bloodstream
Sucks a soul to a corpse

It has two steel legs
Hacking away at flesh
It is too cold, too unfeeling
To know its cruelty
It does not breathe
As you and I do
So it shreds unwittingly

It is a wheel
Turning and churning
It stops for no mortal

So when I sleep deathless dreams
I get on my skinned knees
And wish wish wish a dream
Of never-ending life
And oh what a dream it is.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Favorite Poets: Shakespeare, Emily Dickenson, Sylvia Plath, Elizabeth Bishop, Mary Oliver

More from this author

Comments

Lavender

Hello, Abby,
A direct and sharp piece which sends a message that time can be cruel and punishing, and cold hearted. (If it were to have a heart.) Your last stanza is the strongest, for me. Longing for a dream of never-ending life is captivating, and your final line feels so different from the rest of the poem - very illusive. Perfect ending. Couple minor misspellings: theif / thief, it's /its.
Thank you!
Lavender

Seren

Seren

2 years 1 month ago

This is the grind of time in words. I see nothing I'd change well done!!

So when I sleep deathless dreams
I get on my skinned knees
And wish wish wish a dream
Of never-ending life
And oh what a dream it is.

I really love the ending though. No matter how dark the world is there is always a light somewhere. Even in our dreams.

Kind Regards Jayne