I saw my wish star
As a small flash
It came to crash
Under the sky
She came to die,
And over the clouds
She dropped her pride
When the flaming face
Winked through the race
The wateriness stage
Was ready
For that fir with its rage
O,
Now I see her marriage
With her grave
End of the play
My wish has been swooped
In the depth of the sea
This is a life story
Has been written with tears
On the pages of time to be told
When the ink of my pens has run dry
And my paper sheets complain
This life story about us
When we try to challenge our destiny
Or when we lie to ourselves
By making false wishes and Pretending
That we can cure our wounds
That has been opened by
Our loved ones
And the times reopen it again
The only cure is
To learn how to forget..
Comments
My writing comes spontaneously,. is that bad???
My writing comes spontaneously,. is that bad???
You are absolutely right. But.................................
You are absolutely right, but I'm talking about other’s wishes not mine.
Those who make a wish when they see falling star, I don't believe in these things. I used to work hard to get wt I want sometimes but most of the time I consider myself a lucky girl coz things works easy for me.
I really really loved your comment and I feel it is the complete message in my poem
thank you so much Amal, you are really great friend and poet too.
Thanks again for the suggestion you gave and for the correction too.
Mona,
I love spontaneous, I write that way also. when it comes I just write without stopping until I'm done. once I'm done I look and see where did it take me.
then I separate what I want from what I saw.
So writing that way to me is good, because thinking about to much just burns all my natural thoughts
I liked this write a lot, it seems to me it's from your heart.
Eddie C.
Thanks Eddie, thank you very much, I thought I'm in the wrong
Thanks Eddie, thank you very much, I thought I'm in the wrong way in writing my poetry. Especially that English language is not my mother tongue
And I love to share my feeling with you great poets ,.......
. And I love to share my feelings and thoughts with you great poets, who do respect what I write, and guide me “by taking me through the gentleness of my heart”, by their honesty in their comment and criticism
And as I said in my profile that all my writing comes from great influence of people I love (friends, ..........etc
thanks my dear
my friend
my friend spontaneous writers are the best. they are really the only kind I like to read. when you write spontaneously you write from the heart. and you my beautiful friend,you write from your heart and it shows. great work
Hoboooooooooooooooooooooooooo:))))) thanks
I'm waiting for your poems my friend.
And oh, don't be so .................................
And oh, don't be so much spontaneously regards those poems for women Lol.;)))
just kidding
I love it all
....
lol
lol my beautiful friend you know I can not stop flirting with the women, that's what I do that is why I am the hobo hahaha
LOL
I know you are the Hobo,,,just be careful. Women become monsters some times ;)
Dearest Mona...
philosophical....
much love..
yes I meant it to ........is it bad or good???
Is it bad or good???would you explain pleeeeeassse.:)
Dearest Mona...
ofcourse it is good because as those closing lines of your poem suggest..one must learn to rise from a a fall as also make an effort to put bad experiences out of one's mind and move on....
much love..
Dearest Raj
Thank you very much and I'm glade that you got the meaning I want to convey here.
luvxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You write spontaneously...
You write spotaneously that's good, Its what I do for the most part. Though sometimes I just have a sentence, a few sentences I like and think I can work with. Mostly though it comes out as it is without too much thought, although always thinking about a poem or something I might write. I'm happy to see the evolution of this poem. Always be passionate and stick to your guns and never let anyone take that away from you.
JohnXxx
Thank you John, that was almost will happened if ...............
Thank you John, that was almost will happened if my Neo/ friends like you and Shirley was not around .....................
Thank you for the comment and the encouragement.
I however, find that extra
I however, find that extra comma, in the last sentence totally unnecessary and it ruins the whole poem!*
take your mind to your heart
and your heart to your hand
write it down
before you forget
how to be
you,
true blue like a
rose.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Blue_rose.jpg (an avatar I use on occasion)
~A
*(Just kiddin')
Deleted.........................................................
Thank you Anna.
What do you think of it now without that comma?
I really loved the lines of the poem in your comment. I adore roses too much, and I have huge collection of roses and flowers pictures,
some of it by my own camera and the other from the net.
Thank you for the link too
Dearest friend
Thank you very much for the comment and the suggestion. I feel happy when I receive advices and suggestions from great poets, I really do.
And I can't wait for that future,. I feel it is not too far..
luvXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One little thought, what you
One little thought, what you are describing is what we call in english *a falling star* or a *shooting star* just a thought.
JohnXxx
O, ya................and I heard some Americans ...............
O, ya................and I heard some Americans call it wishing star, but I forgot that British invented the language LOL;))))
The correct term is(shooting star/or wishing on a falling/ shooting star/ falling star)but some call it wishing star.
In this link you will find very beautiful images for ""Falling Star"":
http://www.google.com.ly/images?hl=en&q=falling+star&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sour…
luvXxxxxxx
Yes,we do. ...............................
We live with hope and beautiful dreams for the future.