H.A.P.P.Y.

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "H.A.P.P.Y.," presents a narrative of a transformative relationship, which is a common and relatable theme in poetry. The use of an acrostic format is a creative approach, but it could be more effectively utilized if the chosen word (in this case, "HAPPY") was more directly connected to the content of the poem. The current narrative seems to focus more on the transformative power of love rather than happiness per se.

The first line, "How your voice became everything I needed to hear," is a strong opening, as it immediately introduces the subject and the speaker's emotional connection to it. However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery to further illustrate this connection. For instance, what is it about the voice that is so captivating? Is it the tone, the words spoken, or perhaps the emotions it conveys?

The second line, "An accidental meeting formed an unlikely pair," could be more impactful if it provided more details about this meeting. What made it accidental? What makes the pair unlikely? Providing these details can help the reader better understand the relationship and its significance.

The third and fourth lines, "Pleasure was but a fantasy until I became lost in your arms / Placing your soul safely within my heart," introduce a physical and spiritual intimacy between the speaker and the subject. However, these lines could be more effective if they delved deeper into the speaker's emotions and experiences. How did it feel to be lost in the subject's arms? What does it mean to place someone's soul within one's heart?

The final line, "You changed me, without knowing, from the start," effectively concludes the poem by summarizing the impact of the relationship on the speaker. However, it could be more powerful if it provided specific examples of how the speaker has changed.

Overall, the poem has a strong emotional core and a clear narrative, but could benefit from more specific imagery and details to further engage the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Good poem, Rose I liked your success with another! Form right on, great job!

This was really good. The build up is handled well considering how short the form is and the ending ties it off perfectly. Well done, Ruby :) x

the AI misses the point when it comes to emotion. Happy is what you get when you find love. I do see its' point, but I think that if you look deeper, you will find that this writer sounds happy! ~ Geezer.
.

Hello, Carrie,
Happy, yes, but I mostly felt the overwhelming gratitude in feeling this way. So wonderful!
Lx

Very enjoyable read Rose. I agree with your comments on Al. I am always amused to read his comments on other works. He generally misses the point of what the type and style of the work is. I have stopped using him, Give me a persons comments anyday. Alex.

AI, does not understand emotion. period. I read your poem and as I was reading, I thought, (this is exquisite!!!) I love it. you seem to be coming in to your own person. I really like how your mind works! keep on keepin' on!

*love, Cat

this poem was a pleasure to reread! good feelings abound!

*hugs, Cat

This was beautiful although you may have struggled
to write it. Well done in my book!

Very good

Well said, well written and an enjoyable read. A special someone is very lucky.

Affectionate, soft, nearly a lullaby!