Poem Body
The next time a thought comes
A hungry long-necked vulture
And it tries to shred your peace
Eyes homing on horses fleeing lions
Open up your palms
Maybe hooves might outdo paws
Keep them abut, reader’s style
Neigh too, nothing’s new about roars
Count all the sprawling whorls
As you sprint, kick from the rear
There are a billion patterns of you
Dizzy them with a circuitous race
Lines of beauty thicker than despair
The vulture would seek a meal elsewhere
Comments
a nice poem
very African as vultures lions and horses all don't live in too many other places. I like that.
I have never seen, heard of, or imagined lions and horses...but it must be so in rural areas outside the main area lions live, where they hunt the Zebra, and everything else. (I have been among the lions in open jeeps in 6 different African countries. For some reason they just ignore it, like a smelly rolling rock of no interest)
I would consider being more specific with the "thought" as the next time a "negative thought" comes your way, and maybe suggest what those thoughts might be- death, fear of something else? Putting a bit more of the "you" in the poem, who is you.
..
Thanks a lot
Thank you so much for the review. I buy your views on the need for an elaborate "you."
But I guess the usage of horses in place of zebras came from the typical association of horses with bravery. I also wanted a symbol that would capture the reality of running away - zebras are less agile runners than horses. And a symbol to appropriately capture the horror of the tame running away from the wild.
an interesting idea, to
an interesting idea, to become a "horse" to escape a "vulture" or "lion". i like the fantastical way you deal with a very real emotion or psychological reality. palms, hooves, paws. i think you do a good job of staying logically coherent/consistent, even as you work from one animal to the next.
Appreciation
Thanks for the review Greg. Glad you could absorb the imagery.