mand
mand
Mar 23, 2015

Is It Any Wonder I Quake

Poem Body

Is it any wonder I quake
the night is dark and I'm awake
I am a women on my own
with nothing but a dog and phone.

I'm crinkly old and like a rake
Is it any wonder I quake
a criminal could knock me flat
that's why I hide a cricket bat.

My doors are locked, but I'm in dread
Is Jack the ripper 'neath my bed?
Is it any wonder I quake
with thoughts like these that make me shake.

That dog of mine, she's just a curse
she barks a lot and makes me worse
I'm here alone for goodness sake.
Is it any wonder I quake?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Thought I'd give this format a go - sorry it was done in a rush - as usual we are busy and set to get busier over the next few weeks. I wondered if "it's no wonder that I quake" would be a better alternative for the repeated verse. Anyway thanks for reading and I appreciate your comments. Love Mand xxxx

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

10 years 1 month ago

A very well written quatern. A fun write though not sure if this is intended. I think it could be read as both.
I haven't counted the syllables as I count on you :)((winks))

mand

He he! Thanks Rula - Glad you liked it - knowing it made you and others smile is the greatest compliment I could ask for. :)

Keep safe my friend :)

Love to you

Mand xxxx

S

and like a rake.............riiiiight. You are likely younger than I but since I'm old as dirt that might not say much lol. If you want to change that one line just insert "that" right before I. In the mean time if you worry about somebody being under your bed, just hope it's not Obama and his condescending wagging finger lol.
As to barking dog, years ago we had a dog that barked at us as well as everything else....until the night somebody broke into my van and stole a bunch of tools. Not a peep that night........stan

mand

Crinkly old - yep! Like a rake - might be pushing poetic license a tad! Lol Ha ha you are sooo funny Stan! :) I have a suspicion my dog will be like yours. She'll probably lick em to death or defend them if I charge at them with a cricket bat! Lol

Thanks for the visit Stan - much appreciated.

Love Mand xxx

R

raj

10 years 1 month ago

Not you it also made me quake
but not in fright but for fun sake
tell you what, you got a chance
to win then have a dance

for that make sure you enter it under the contest tab...its a great quatern and full of fun...i loved it...

mand

Poetry is in your blood Raj. :) I like your little poem, made me smile :) and if mine made you quake I'm super happy! Hasn't the contest finished?

I did this last time didn't I - Still I'll have a go at Aprils contest - for sure.

Thanks for you lovely poem Raj - happy me.

Love to you

Mand xxxx

R

I fail to understand how the contest for March can be over although we are still a week away from end of March. I wish I had a clout with Stan to allow your poem to gent an entry at least via the back door :)

Anyways, be an early bird for the April contest ok?..Lest you forget...i will keep nagging you :)

much love and hugs..

R

I will keep bugging you even if you call me a bugger...lol

Sparrow

Ask one of those lovely film stars if they need a place to stay lol.
How the heck is anyone going to be near you if you are always quaking lol.
Loved it the form is fine to me but I forgot to count the syllables as there are supposed to be eight to each line.
I have checked and you are spot on I am going to ignore "AM" that my damn syllable counter puts as two syllables?????
We live in hope, though I always say it is a negative word, we must get out there and meet people.
One day young Lady, Yours Ian.T
PS:- Is that dog of yours a pit bull ???

mand

I hope you had a nice holiday - last week wasn't it? time flies so quick I can't keep up. Lol

Me dog is a fearsome Jack Russell - She'd take on a pit bull if she could though - and get minced up in the processes, silly doggie! Lol

Thanks for droppin by Ian - keep safe - say hello to the children from me.

Love Mand xxxxx

mand

Glad you liked it - nice of you to read and comment! ( thanks for counting the syllable too )

Love to you

Mand xxx

judyanne

crinkly old and like a rake .... describing me Mand lol
Great rhyme

Just one suggestion
I found the rhythm smooth in every verse but the refrain
Can I suggest 'it is no wonder that I quake'

Love judy
xxx

mand

Made the change - what do you think - better? Kind of you to read and make the suggestion. :)

Much appreciated.

Love Mand xxxx