Poem Body
memories are precious
but dangerous
moments in looking-glasses
labelled yesterdays
from which we sip savours of
gone glories
and outstanding regrets
if we spend too much time with
only the piquancy of past on our palate
we forget to make new reflections
and our lives become
as a hall of mirrors
with continuous
eternal tastings of
old, satisfying flavours
so
every now and then
like stars that
in their relentless search for sustenance
blast themselves into oblivion
I listen to the music
it transports me to
a cold hard pew
I weep
the waters cleanse
.
Comments
Hi Judyanne
the concluding lines make this what i would call it "a therapeutic poem" showing the way to cleanse the woes and take a fresh look at life and it's goodness..
innovative write too...
Regards,
thank you Raj
for the read and lovely comment
love judy
xxx
Judy
If life is an album, memories will be the photos of moments in time, recording of our success, failures,choices and the consequences as well as the people who share them with us. I love the 3rd stanza the best.
Alid
Hello Alid
Thank you for the read and comment, and for letting me know which stanza took your eye -
that is always helpful
love judy
xxx
Judyanne
You are a word artist - your poems are beautifully written, profound and so very in touch with human nature - this one is no exception.
:) thanks for sharing your amazing talent.
Love Mand xxx
Oh Mand
Thank you for the beautiful compliment of my write
love judy
xxx
The language as always is beautiful.
Being verso libre I have a hard time with the absence of what I feel is poetry. It distracts me. The "story" is lovely and potent, but I don't "feel" the poetry
Maybe I'm just old and old fashioned.
yes Wes
The very problem I have with verso libre.... I truly never really feel that I have captured the essence of what I am trying to say... but lol - I keep on trying
Maybe I'm too old too... I need to use rhythm to convey emotion...
Thanks for the great comment
love judy
xxx
minor edit....
but all have said it
wonderful words smith
r u
edited the it loved .. thanks
and thank you for the visit and lovely comment
love judy
xxx
Judy
I shall not weep my memories away,
They keep me going and enjoying the day
Hold them in a place you have refined
Then they will not intrude into real time.
Lovely piece, I wonder what is poetry now, I remember paintings from the old masters, even "starry night" was not real painting, then we come to Picasso, is this painting, well most say it is, so now we must find a new word for our present great writes, did we finish writing poetry when the feet and meters didn't rhyme or form an old patter.
Great write, Yours Ian xx
thanks Ian
I still prefer the 'old' ways of poetry to the new
I just keep trying free verse, but most times I feel I haven't said it the way I want.... I know I can do a better job of it in structured western... I'm just too stubborn to stop trying every now and then....
there is some awesomely emotive free verse around though -
love judy
xxx
The old ways are best, My Lady.
Don't be tempted by this evil cult. Verso Libre is dangerous. Flee from it like a good traditional poet.
lol
ok
xxx
Judy
Remember that Sparrows as Ravens can be dangerous, so flee young maiden least the wrath of villum viclespere grips your soul,
I only mention that we need a new poetry form to brand the modern poetry, our workshops will still teach the old school, I am a free thinking creature but sometimes in writing I bend to the old tradition, but have never been taught it.
I find that the traditional ways of writing are held onto by the new world more so than England.
The traditions of Eton and such places dictate that oldish correct form is adhered to, but I think that many writers are experimenting with new forms of writing, we just need a name for it.
I suppose that me not being a trained correct form writer should really find a place in the world that can write as one thinks not as others dictate.
I started a journalism course once but when they wanted me to write the way they wrote I just couldn't carry on it was like destroying part of me.
Never mind, things will stay as they are for now and there are many other things to do in life apart from worrying about correctness too much, Take care of you and know we are walking the same pathway.
Yours as always Ian xx
Hmmm.....
Hmmmm..........hummmmmm.............errrrrrr...........see how hard I'm thinking?.............grunt. Now I have a head ache from sprained brain lol. I was gonna say sip savors didn't seem right. then I reconsidered that the very fact that it stood out and gave pause made it worth keeping as is. BUT, in the last line i think you should change waters to tears..............stan
hi Stan
I originally had 'tears' but changed it .... I think I still prefer 'waters'
thanks
love judy
xxx
Hello Judy
I very much like the simile through out the piece. But I find this part a little weaker with the "so"
I am not sure if you can see what I mean but I would paraphrase the first few lines of this stanza or at least do a change in the lineation
"so
every now and then
like stars that
in their relentless search for sustenance
blast themselves into oblivion
I listen to the music"
I admit I am not sure how to do it, but I see it less powerful than the other stanzas.
But always an enjoyable read
Thanks for sharing dear.
thanks Rula
for your thoughts
I'm not sure why you find the last part weak... lol - I think the whole thing is weak....
I will probably leave it for a while, and come back later, with fresh eyes, to review
love judy
xxx