The Last Time

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, titled "The Last Time," effectively uses the metaphor of a queue to represent life's journey and the inevitability of mortality. The repetition of the word "line" and "time" throughout the poem creates a rhythmic pattern that mirrors the monotony of waiting and the constant ticking of time.

However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery to create a more vivid and engaging experience for the reader. For example, instead of saying "I’ve spent my life waiting in line," the poet could describe the line, the surroundings, or the feelings associated with waiting.

The transition from the speaker being placed in line by others to deciding to move past the line is a powerful moment in the poem. However, this shift could be more impactful if the speaker's feelings or thoughts leading up to this decision were explored in more depth.

The last two lines of the poem, "I shall leave the line behind / And step through to eternity vast," effectively convey the speaker's acceptance of mortality. However, the phrase "eternity vast" is somewhat vague and could be replaced with a more concrete or unexpected image to leave a stronger impression on the reader.

In terms of structure, the poem maintains a consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme, which contributes to its overall flow. However, some lines are longer than others, which disrupts the rhythm. The poet could consider revising these lines to maintain a more consistent meter.

Overall, this poem presents a poignant reflection on life and mortality, but could be improved with more specific imagery, deeper exploration of the speaker's thoughts and feelings, and more consistent meter.

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I like the poem very much about breaking imposed restraints. I like how waiting in line and being placed by those who gives the order, fits together so well, to visualize your point.
The poem reads well on both the physical and spiritual level; because, of course, only the spiritual may know the universe vast.

Great, I have always hated being in lines, so uncomfortable I want to break out of this cocoon, spread my wings and fly. I loved this.

Good poem, reflects the restraints of waiting in line. Your last line shows the to me you have moved to the front of the line moving into the other world.

I love your way of relaxed rhyming! This piece just rolls right of the tongue! I admire the stages it takes me through in the reading. (what a pleasant way of dealing with Death.) This piece reminds me of a book titled "On A Pale Horse" I think it was by Piers Anthony in series of (Incarnations of mortality) anyway, very nice work, Mary Beth!

*hugs, Cat

I loved this poem so relatable of being always placed in some hierarchical order. As if that’s all that matters. Grateful through this poem you shed light on what it’s like to break free.