Do you really live with depression?
No! It is not living, but existing!
Like a knot on a log..
A rusted knob on a discarded door?
I do not exist with depression, but
there was a time I existed like a Zombie.
Existing as a numb skull, a deadened head!
Depression within my body.
Body heavy with the weight of anger.
Anger I was expected not to express.
Stopped on the expressway of life!
Never taught to express anger!
Expressing anger was wrong,
Fastest way to get poundeed out, strapped.
Strapped with the belt or the palm of her hand!
I was not who I was, an energetic growing boy, rather,
I was what my world told me what I should be.
Quiet like a mouse,
Out of everyones way.
Then I met a man, tall man, smiled a lot
And he set me free!
Talking, communicating, being a friend.
What really mattered, what everyone disliked..
Why I hated myself.
It took some time, some years
But as he said, as long as it took
To hate myself it took as long
To learn to re-love who I truly was.
The confidant and energetic real me.
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem, "Living With Depression," appears to be a personal narrative about the speaker's journey through depression and eventual recovery. It effectively uses language to convey the weight and struggle of living with mental illness.
The poem could benefit from more specific imagery. The line, "I was what my world told me what I should be," for example, could be more impactful if it were grounded in concrete details that show the speaker's struggle to conform to societal expectations.
The poem also seems to rely heavily on telling rather than showing. For instance, the line, "I do not exist in depression anymore," tells the reader the speaker's state of mind instead of showing it through actions, thoughts, or feelings.
The poem could also benefit from more varied sentence structure. The majority of the lines in the poem are declarative sentences, which can become monotonous and reduce the emotional impact of the poem.
The transition from depression to recovery is a bit abrupt. The poem might benefit from more development of this transition to make it more believable and emotionally resonant.
Finally, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of punctuation. There are several lines that end without punctuation, which can be confusing for the reader.
Overall, the poem effectively communicates the speaker's struggle with depression and recovery, but could benefit from more specific imagery, more showing rather than telling, varied sentence structure, a more developed transition from depression to recovery, and consistent punctuation.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
A serious subject
One cannot make it pretty with poetry. It is not pretty!
You said it best
It is not pretty! Depression is raw, it's ugly, it calls us out of character and tells us we are not capable of good things. I love how honest your poem is and that you are on the flip side of it as well. Well done.
Hi Rose of Darkness!
I am taken by your comment,