Living With Depression

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem effectively explores the theme of depression, using vivid imagery to convey the speaker's emotional state. The use of first-person narration enhances the personal and intimate feel of the poem, allowing the reader to empathize with the speaker's struggles.

However, the poem could benefit from more varied language and more complex sentence structures. The repetition of the "I" pronoun at the beginning of many lines creates a monotonous rhythm that could be broken up with different sentence constructions.

The poem also tends to tell rather than show the speaker's emotions. For example, the line "The anxiety was so intense" could be replaced with a metaphor or simile that conveys the same idea in a more evocative way.

The ending of the poem is a powerful statement of resilience, but it could be made even stronger with a more detailed description of the speaker's actions. Instead of simply stating "I threw myself up out of bed and walked out on the street," the poem could describe the physical sensations and emotions associated with these actions to create a more immersive reading experience.

The poem's rhyme scheme is consistent, which contributes to its overall flow. However, the rhythm is occasionally disrupted by lines with a different number of syllables. Adjusting these lines to match the syllable count of the others could improve the poem's rhythm.

In conclusion, while the poem effectively communicates the speaker's struggle with depression and their determination to overcome it, it could be improved with more varied language, more show than tell, and a more consistent rhythm.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I very much like the short lines which tell the story of your dark depression. I like the straightforward way in which the poem is presented... and then the forceful way in which you take control and declare your power over it! very nice.

*hugs, Cat

I like it , but maybe there is something you could consider; the sixth couplet throws off both the rynthm and the rhyme. It is there as reason to suppoer the change, but is it really needed

The anxiety was so intense
I cried and wept for weeks!

Then threw myself up out of bed...

Tyro

Strength in keep going

I commend you

These feelings so well. Depression is a thief of joy and robs us of the little things. I am glad to see you made it through to the other side.