Llyn-Llech-Owain - ( translation = The Lake Of Owains slab )

Poem Body

We often walk around Llyn Llech Owain
in boots that tread the muddy puddle course
our dogs in tow, we pass the yellow gorse,
then stop to view the spruce and lodge pole pine,
with air that’s clean and sky that’s blue all’s fine.
The land is brackish, overgrown and coarse,
beguiling Gwendraeth valley’s river source,
a blackish lake where golden lilies shine.
This lake, so say, was caused by Owain Red,
a man in charge of Mynydd Mawr’s well,
indeed he was, until his big mistake,
for Owain Lawgoch, more precisely said
undid the slab which caused an upward swell
that hence became our Llyn Llech Owain lake.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Owain is pronounced === O wine Mynydd Mawr’s === Minneth Mouer Second attempt at a sonnet after this style: (a) (b) (b) (a) (a) (b) (b) (a) (c) (d) (e) (c) (d) (e)

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Comments

A beautiful

descriptive piece dear Mand. I admit I found difficulty in the pronunciation of the many names, but it is indeed my problem.
The sestet, usually is where the author solves a problem displayed in the octet, but I don't see how you can apply this here. Maybe I missed something?
I have to say that I have really enjoyed this read. I am happy you are back dear.

Hi Rula

I feel a little relieved that, at least, I've got the syllable count right. ( I hope ) Lol.

I think I failed to do my research - haven't heard of a sestet / octet, I'll have to dig deeper, this is the beginning of my journey in company with sonnet's so I still have much to learn. It is quite a challenge!

I am amazed at your knowledge, especially given that English is your second language - it's a tribute to your personality that you are passionate about poetry and it's many forms! You are an inspiration Rula. :)

Love to you

Mand xxx