Poem Body
Nightly she is alone
Her heart a queen
That forfeited the throne
Her power
A bright hope
For a dark hour
She erases pain
her mere smile
puts an end to rain
Oh, when she cries
A star from heaven
slowly dies
Oh, this is no tale
Just a queen
That will prevail
Her sweet embrace
Gives a hope
No tyrant can erase
Oh, who can she be?
in pages of time
she is set free
given the chance
enemies turned
lovers that dance
who would disagree
to a world healed
By queen poetry
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Long Live The Queen" presents a metaphorical narrative that personifies poetry as a queen. The use of metaphors and personification throughout the poem is effective in conveying the power and influence of poetry.
However, the poem could benefit from more consistency in its rhyme scheme. The poem starts with an ABCB rhyme scheme in the first stanza, but this pattern is not maintained throughout the poem. Consistency in rhyme scheme can enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more engaging for the reader.
The poem also uses a lot of abstract language, such as "bright hope", "dark hour", and "pages of time". While these phrases can evoke strong emotions, they can also be vague and difficult for the reader to interpret. The poem could be strengthened by incorporating more concrete imagery and sensory details. This would make the abstract concepts more tangible and relatable for the reader.
Lastly, the poem's structure could be improved by maintaining a consistent number of lines in each stanza. This would give the poem a more balanced and cohesive appearance.
In conclusion, while the poem effectively uses metaphors and personification to convey the power of poetry, it could be improved by maintaining a consistent rhyme scheme, incorporating more concrete imagery, and balancing the number of lines in each stanza.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
A queen indeed
Poetry is the forfeited queen. Only poets/ artists appreciate this queen and put it in it's right position.
I didn't get the stanza before the last, but I think it could be only me
It's always good to read you Paul.
Thank you for sharing.
Not quite sure...
of that next to last stanza either. ~ Geez.
.
Paul, nice rough
I would keep the rhyme but expand the expression with imagery. There is a lot of opportuity. Use simile.
Her power like a springtime sunrise
A bright hope like a burning candle
For the dark hour of our minds
Keep on it bro because ya got something started.
I would completely remove that last stsnza.
Later,