maids beware

Poem Body

I’d girlish thoughts a knight in shining armour
arriving on a steed of strength and speed
would lift me up on his enchanted charger
be tender of a woman’s growing need

to take me from my tiny single bed
and make my life a sentimental song
with promises of love he’d fill my head
and blindly I would follow right along

but years and age have cooled my youthful ardour
I realise he never did exist
the one who came was dressed all white with splendour
disguised to fool, and turn ideals to mist

so, maids, be wary, curb your wishes, dreams
beware of villains plotting wicked schemes
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

Judyanne

Good read, perhaps you may be re-working on third quatrain. I said may be, it's just a guess and no more

Regards,

thanks Raj

if you're talking about verses 2 and 4, they are what are called feminine lines - allowable in the looser form of the sonnet - Shakespeare used them frequently. they have an extra unstressed syllable at the end... I like them, and use them frequently. I find they can make the reader pause at a place I want them too. lol - Wes doesn't like them - they don't make a 'pure' sonnet in his eyes

love judy
xxx