Poem Body
A gem of Japan
from Matsuyama City,
shining in Tokyo
rejected in politics,
triumphant as a writer
Jun 16, 2015
Masaoka Shiki (Meet The Masters WS Tanka)
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Eastern
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Alid
Thank you for your participation and help
You have introduced us to a new poet
chrys
you're welcome.
Alid
Hi Alid
I'm a bit divided by this. One part of me says the brevity of this poem is good homage to him. Then the other part tells me that I still know little about the man behind the poem. Do you think maybe a series of Haiku might have done both?............stan
Stan
oh dear, I don't know how many will tell his story. He real name was Masaoka Noboru and he was born to a samurai class family of modest means.At 15, he was involved with Freedom and People's Rights Movement and getting himself banned from public speaking by the principal of Matsuyama Middle School. In 1883, he moved to Tokyo where he became poet, author, and literary critic in Meiji period. He was one of the haiku masters though his writing also includes tanka as well. He was a very sickly man, however and suffered from tuberculosis (TB) much of his life.
He was a war correspondent in the First Sino-Japanese war.and, while eventually obtaining his goal, he arrived in China after the April 17, 1895, signing of the Treaty of Shimonoseki.Instead of reporting on the war, he spent an unpleasant time harassed by Japanese soldiers in Dalian, Luangtao, and the Lüshunkou District. He continued to cough blood throughout his return voyage to Japan and was hospitalized in Kobe. He died of TB in 1902 at age 34
Hmmm, so you see, I'm going to struggle hard if I'm doing the haiku. There's just so much words you can write in a haiku. I'll see what I ccan do but damn its gonna be tough.lol.
Alid
may i try?
was born Noboru
advocate for human rights
a haiku master
what silenced Shiki
Japanese soldiers could not
disease TB did
(hope you dont mind xx)
Love judy
xxx
Hi Judy
good one . I'll wait for one more suggestion or 1 more day before I do the edits.
Alid