Memories

Poem Body

I believe
his eyes betokened
the pioneer spirit,
as did the jut of his jaw
- so forcibly -
the farsighted gaze,
the winglike structure of his mind.
He gerrymandered
the boundaries of my heart
- my heliocentric constituency -
to include him at every turn.
He’s my memory now,
a surface hard
with incised marks,
that he made impassable
to temptation and doubt.
I feel again
infinitesimal pain.
My whole being cries out for him.
But it intimates - the silent Paraclete -
and every mortal word of it
is le mot juste.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is a vintage poem, part of a collection I'm building.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Río Negro, Argentine Patagonia, ARG

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath, T.S. Elliot. Shakespeare, Gongora, Beckett, etc. Many others, such as Cervantes. I have to thank my mother because she read poetry to me from the cradle, so first I learned by memory and soon understood the words. Grammar comes naturally at about 5 years old, without any formal teaching.

Comments

I hesitate to say...

that the language gives pause at first; but then I realize that it gives one things to think about. The words are tantamount to the feelings expressed and of a grand nature. Nice job. ~ Geez.
.

I agree about the language,

I agree about the language, Geez. It's part of a collection I'm gathering together, with vintage or rare forms and words.
I'm glad it makes you think, sorry about that! lol. The words are rather unusual. Best wishes.

You are an extraordinary poetess of immese creativity

we can only crawl or crave to be
about others I can't speak
it's voiceless me only

Hi wkamen, what a sad,

Hi wkamen, what a sad, poignant poem. So powerful. I love the imagery of the sea and other of the lovers' favorite places.
I would only suggest that you "prune" it a little. You, take out some extra words to make it smoother.
No other nits, enjoyed and keep 'em coming.