Rula
Rula
Apr 01, 2019
This poem is part of the workshop:

Cellar Door

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My Call's A Cellar Door (Cellar Door WS) with audio

Poem Body

My call's a cellar door
That unlocks my fears
With no rusty hinges
With no wheels to squeal

My call's a cellar door
With vascular veins
With featured fringes
It rules and reigns
Over all other doors
Drawers, attics and stores

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0kk86S3sUrJ

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Could hearts make a cellar door?

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Eumolpus

Very nice, but such an opening! First I would split the stanza's

My call's a cellar door
That unlocks my fears
With no rusty hinges
With no wheels to squeal

My call's a cellar door
With vascular veins
With featured fringes
It rules and reigns

They are two connected but totally different images, the space helps set that up.

ok. it reigns....reigns over what? keep going with the train of thought of this poem, just first thing that comes into your head.

The poem you have started has a lot going for it It has established a voice, a theme, the style of images, the form of the lines.....that's the hardest part of the process. The rest is the fun part, just being free in that which has been established.

S

This has a very smooth flow at least to my ears. I agree that splitting it into stanzas would make it better but the shop only requires a musical quality and this Does have that

Rula

Appreciate the supporting comment.
I thought the piece is too short to split, but as you (masters of poetry) suggested the same, I had to comply. :)

weirdelf

except to say this works really well in terms of the parameters of the workshop, using aural techniques really effectively.

Wonderful to hear you voice too! Thank you so much for giving us this extra dimension.