Encounters
published by Sam's dot publishing 2007
Hollow People
See them moving in the shadows
as the fingers of evening fog
tightly grasp the rocky shoreline.
Layers of mist settling thickly in the low lands,
like ghostly gray-white downy filled quilts
covering a damp bed of marsh and moor.
See them slowly lumbering through the fog bank
creeping up to surround us...
in these tendrils of mist
the hollow people exist...
attracted to our sinister subliminal thoughts.
Gobbling up our fear like an appetizer,
feeding on the negativity of our
envy, greed, anger and rage.
Ghastly faces pressed against our windows,
only our thin walls to keep them out.
Only our love and laughter to vanquish them
back to the quagmire, begone to the fen...
by: c.m. mattison
Comments
Dearest One
I loved this one, the hollow people it reminds me of a movie I watched when I was young I hid in the hallway so they couldn't see me watching the horror movie they were watching. I can't remember the name of it but your poem reminded me of it.
I truly couldn't pick just a couple of favourite lines but I loved this
the hollow people exist...
attracted to our sinister subliminal thoughts.
Gobbling up our fear like an appetizer,
feeding on the negativity of our
envy, greed, anger and rage.
Ghastly faces pressed against our windows,
only our thin walls to keep them out.
Only our love and laughter to vanquish them
back to the quagmire, begone to the fen...
I can't see anything I'd change or edit. It's a solid write as it sits.
Congratulations on the publication of your poem.
Good luck in the competition!!....
Love Always Lilbit xxx
dearest Lilbit,
thank you so very much for your enthusiastic support! I think I watched the same movie! I know I did my fair share of "secret theater" there in the dark, it was my guilty pleasure, scaring myself silly, lol!
*love, Siscat
Hollow People
I love this! Emotional vampires that are always waiting to steal our thunder. The only thing that drives them away is by spreading happiness! Well done.
dear Carrie,
*emotional vampires, that is what the women of my family were. thanks for reading. I think this poem struck a chord...
*hugs, Cat
Hi Cat
OOOOOO...those hollow people. We have one for prez right now lol. I enjoyed the atmosphere this poem creates. I have a few things you can consider :.Try isolating"the hollow people exist" even further by leaving an empty line above and below. I think this would add more impact. Try down instead of downy in line 5.Line 11...I for some reason think you might want to swap sinister and subliminal....don't know why.OK that's all I have lol
LOL, Scribbler,
that makes two prezes in a row! creepy! since this was already accepted by "Encounters" I will leave it be, but I really appreciate your suggestions!
*love, Cat