raj
Dec 01, 2018

Namaste

Poem Body

At dusk
my palms join,
I look east then west,
In welcome and farewell,
I open them
chanting mantras of gratitude.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

R

for reading and your good words...I wasn't aware that you are part of Neopoet's Social Media team until I saw just now that you found this worthy to include in the "potential submissions to instagram" folder with a nice picture of dusk....i thank you and IRiz for this initiative...she too creates great pics..

thanks again..
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IRiz

IRiz

6 years 4 months ago

Raj
I like the idea of the poem very much!
My only concern is the structure of your sentences.
Take a look I wrote this as a suggestion to make better flow. I keep the essence of the poem.

At dusk
my palms join.
I look east then west.
In welcome and farewell
I open them
chanting greatful mantras.

R

raj

6 years 4 months ago

Thanks friend IRiz for the wonderful suggestive change...appreciated and will be implemented...i will just check if it should be greatful or grateful....

i changed the concluding line from "chanting grateful mantras" to "chanting mantras of gratitude"
...please tell me which one is better and has a better flow?

Thanks again..
...............................................

R

very much appreciate your tireless efforts dear friend as too your guidance..Mark may do the post if it's not too much trouble...

warmly..
....................................................

R

raj

6 years 4 months ago

you are spot on about ...if you are going to redo the post on instagram please correct that and you may as well get rid of punctuation marks as suggested by IRiz...

thanks mate...
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