I can't see what once I could
My touch can't feel what I once felt,
Sounds are not quite as loud or clear
But I'll play the hand I'm dealt.
I'm less certain about decisions
That once quickly I use to make,
Now I ponder almost everything
Before the next steps that I take.
The memory seems to wane each day
While recollections once came so fast,
Yet there are memories from years ago
Crystal clear from years long past.
The wonders of a lifetime shared
Which transcend any aging fears,
The love of family, friends and others
A day to celebrate as evening nears.
The golden years perhaps not golden
An ache or two after all this time,
Yet you'll hear no complaints from me
About this life that I call mine.
While heading north of eighty now
I still have much more life ahead,
No time to lie around complaining
I can do that when I'm dead.
Comments
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "No Complaints" demonstrates a thoughtful exploration of aging and the acceptance of life's inevitable changes. The use of first-person perspective effectively communicates the speaker's personal journey and reflections.
However, the poem could benefit from a more varied use of poetic devices to enhance its emotional impact and aesthetic appeal. For instance, the use of metaphors, similes, or personification could add a layer of complexity and depth to the poem.
The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout the poem, which contributes to its overall rhythm and flow. However, the meter is somewhat irregular, which can disrupt the reader's experience. Consider revising the poem to establish a more consistent meter.
The poem's theme is clear and well-developed, offering a positive perspective on aging and life's challenges. However, the poem could be more engaging if it incorporated more specific, vivid details about the speaker's experiences or emotions. This would allow readers to connect more deeply with the speaker's perspective.
Lastly, the poem's tone is consistent and effectively conveys the speaker's acceptance and resilience. However, the poem could benefit from more varied sentence structures to add interest and avoid monotony.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
No Complaints
Hello, William,
What an elegant and grateful poem and message. It was soothing and peaceful to read - it gives comfort and purpose.
"About this life that I call mine." So wise and wonderful!
I might be tempted to choose a synonym for "years" in a few places.
Thank you!
L
Hi Lavender.
Hi Lavender.
Thanks for the suggestion, I agree.
Have a wonderful day and thanks for taking the time to read and respond. -Will
You are welcome!
I enjoyed reading your warmhearted poem!
L
The rhythm...
of this piece, could use little smoothing out, but all-in-all, a very touching poem, that outlines the very things that plague us all as we get into our "Golden Years". Maybe you might smooth out the lines, like so?
I'm less certain about decisions
That once quickly, I used to make
Now I ponder almost everything
[Before the next steps that I take.]
Memories seem to wane each day
[While] recollections once came so fast
Yet, there are memories from years ago
Crystal clear from years long past
A couple of minor changes that I think can make a difference.
Of course, as always, you can choose to ignore my suggestions and make your own changes.
~ Geezer.
.
As usual, your suggestions
As usual, your suggestions are spot on. Thanks for them and thanks for taking the time to read. - Will