The obligatory sound recording
https://soundcloud.com/user-391664655/white-van-man
White van man,
white van man
you’re the king of the road,
as you weave through the traffic
carrying your load.
Carving up anyone
who dares get in your way
and judging the smallest gaps
as you speed through your day.
Driving up my backside
oh, I wish that I could brake
instead, I sit and fume
as you deftly overtake to
jump the traffic lights,
which for us, is such a crime
but white van man,
white van man
you’re a legend
in your time.
White van man,
white van man
with a name like Lee or Brett,
flogging bits of knock off,
depends what you can get.
You think you’re such a cool dude
in your chariot of steel,
taking on the world
from behind your steering wheel.
Wind your window down
to wave at all the lasses
sure they’ll be impressed
with your gold chains and dark glasses.
White van man,
white van man
you are Mr ‘it’
but really, Mr White Van Man
you’re just a slimy………….toad.
Comments
Haha..this is not the wind in the willows..
but that ending was hilarious - and i couldn't help think of Mr Toad!
I used to know a white van man - good friend of mine, used to do a run to Calais, actually the most intelligent guy I know! Fluent in German, French, Spanish, Italian - he read all the philosophers on the road, and was a great political activist..! So I know they're not all...toads (Larkin sneaks his head in, remember Toad Work?)..
Nice pacing, enjoyed very much.
Thank you.
Chris.
Thanks Chris
You read it in the spirit intended.
I read it at a local poetry group last night and was very much looked down on. I don't think they regarded it as 'proper poetry', despite me saying it was just for a bit of a laugh. They also didn't like the way I read it -pretty much as the SoundCloud reading. Said there was too much drama in my voice.
I don't know why I go there, except there are some really nice people there too.
Anyway your comment cheered me up. Us poets can be so delicate. Grin. Jxx
Oh, stuff them Jane ;)
It's obviously a piece of light verse, depicting a situation we've all faced. I don't envy you driving on roads in the UK, I remember it well!
Tasmanian roads, well you can drive for half a day in some parts, and not see another car. Hobart still has it's share of white vans though.
Take care,
Chris.
AhHA
A bit of road rage eh? But i agree these aggressive drivers piss me off too....stan