Poem Body
“As you Grow”
The valley grew silent, amidst darkened soil
Just under the surface was complete turmoil
Pushing aside the soil of cold times gone by
A blade shaped leaf just for you and I
The green blade darkened in piercing the day
It feared to spoil the remains of coal dust decay
Then to show the world how wrong they had been
It sent a perfect stem through the blades of green
A stem so strong with buds more than three
It reminded me of you, with bells, white in purity
There for us to see then for only us to show
That this flower so pure could with us grow
The bells rang the truth for all of us to know.
“I grew" said the flower "Because I loved you so,
In beauty I was for all time, for you to see,
Lily of the Valley is what you called me”
Comments
Friend Ian,
A good, sentimental read that warms the cockles of the heart and takes the winter chill out of the air a bit! You are ever evolving and improving as a poet, and I am humbled by much of what you write!
Lonnie
Thank you for your praise and support, it is because I have poets such as you, and the variety of them in their writes, that I can improve my poetic ability.
You in our time here, have shown me a poet that has been on a journey much different to mine but if we balance the inner good with what we have done and the lessons we have both learned then we are as brothers.
I thank you so very much for being here and bringing a standard to aim for.
You may grin at these words Lonnie but the things you have battled with, and the poet you are now shows me a great Brother,
Yours as always Ian.
lovely ian
A gentle and heart-warming write
Rhyme great,
rhythm good - could be tidied in a couple of places, but not essential..
I would like to see the quotation marks in the last stanza corrected
- "i grew," said this flower, "because.....
Love judy
xxx
Thanks Judy
For you useful comment.
I am always having problems with punctuation, it is due to my lack of being taught English correctly.
I was in the secondary system that stank and left school at fifteen to join the forces.
So my education was on Electronics as apposed to English.
Thanks again, this one had a double meaning as it was for a person also that was a flower to me for a while lol.
Take care young Lady, Yours Ian x