ONE WINDY DAY (humor in poetry shop)

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
while suffering badly with gas
hoping that it would muffle the buffer
whenever she let the gas pass.

Just as she started to strain
the bad wolf happened by
so she clamped down on her gastric pain
then turned up her eyes to the sky.

The hungry wolf caught her right up
and headed toward home
saying he'd have her over to sup
(and this ain't the end of this tome)

The Muffet was scared of her coming fate
yet still a lady you see
so she clenched up her cheeks deciding to wait
not letting discomfort run free.

They passed near by a dairy
with its own type bouquet
which was owned by the tooth fairy
but the fairy was gone for the day.

A unicorn flashed past so fast
Miss Muffet had no time to call
until the horny horse had passed
and disappeared into the pall.

The wolf went to a muddy stream
whose bridge sheltered an ornery troll
ornery but a coward 'twoud seem
(perhaps he heard Muff's stomach roll)

Lady Muffet stayed brave
one trick left that she might use
when, at last, they reached the wolf's cave
and wolf said that she could choose

"i can eat you baked or raw
while you're live or dead,
both ways will see you in my craw."
And this is what Miss Muffet said :

"Let me stand next to the fire
and turn my frightened back to you
so I'll not see you when I expire."
So she turnd, she bent over and blew.

All the methane hit the flame
the wolf became just a cinder
lactose intolerance to blame
with all the curds and whey within her.

The three pigs all rest easy now
Not only wolves blow houses down
When muffet swallows liquids from a cow
she can easily level a whole town.