Our Family Feud

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Our Family Feud" presents a narrative that is both personal and emotionally charged. It uses a metaphorical language to depict a family conflict, which is a common theme in poetry. However, there are a few areas that could be improved for clarity and impact.

1. Consistency in Capitalization: The poem inconsistently capitalizes words like 'She', 'Her', and 'Honey-Girl'. While this can be a stylistic choice, it can also create confusion for the reader. If the capitalization is intended to emphasize certain characters or aspects, it would be beneficial to maintain this throughout the poem to avoid ambiguity.

2. Use of Imagery: The use of imagery in the poem, such as 'black cowboy hats' and 'blazing guns drawn from toy holsters', is effective in setting the scene and tone. However, the transition from this playful imagery to the serious tone of the latter part of the poem is abrupt. It may be beneficial to gradually shift the tone to better prepare the reader for the emotional turn.

3. Clarity of Narrative: The narrative could be clearer. The poem jumps from a playful family feud to a serious conflict without much explanation. Providing more context or details about the transition could help the reader better understand the progression of events.

4. Poetic Devices: The poem could benefit from the use of more poetic devices, such as similes, metaphors, or personification. These can enhance the emotional resonance of the poem and make it more engaging for the reader.

5. Emotional Depth: The poem touches on deep emotions, but it could delve deeper into these feelings. Exploring the emotions of the characters more thoroughly could add depth to the poem and make it more impactful.

Overall, the poem has a strong narrative and emotional core, but could benefit from more consistent capitalization, clearer narrative progression, the use of more poetic devices, and a deeper exploration of emotions.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I see it. I've seen those families, those so divided over nothings, and never to reconcile until death do them part. Then they will cry crocodile tears and chew you up the minute you turn your back. You have depicted it well, Nicely done! ~ Geez.
.

cat-
this is such a clever and well written poem about a sensitive subject. You handled the topic so well, thank you for sharing!

Hello, Cat,
Everything in this poem builds up to that compelling final line. So sorry your childhood was like this.
Well done.
L

I am experiencing division in my own house at the moment and this poem spoke volumes. The toxicity and lasting effects are forever. I am sorry your childhood was so difficult. You are an amazing person and a strong woman. Well done

What amazed me about this family, was that Cat turned out to be the only sane one. I remember one phone conversation between Norma and Cat. I was on the other phone. Somehow the talk turned to Cat's brother-in-law and his abuse of her. When Norma realized that I was listening, she tried to backpedal all that she said. It was obvious that she knew what she had done was wrong and was now trying to cover it up. Kathryn and Coral were a part of the cover up. I'm glad that Cat survived, relatively intact.

Hi Cat, this is alarming and yet, you told your story so well, but OMG, that sad last line, impressive.
I enjoy narrative pieces, they give the reader an opportunity to try the poets skin on and experience a different life in all its gory detail.
Your poem was one that touched me. Like so many others who had a parent so wrapped up in themselves, they failed at being a parent. Well done with your exceptional poem. Take care and stay safe, Ruby :) xxx

Good poem Cat. I especially saw a great deal of depth in the last stanza

think he saw it too...
That is why he arrived
later and later each night.
until he came back not at all...

Hi Cat.

I've been away for a little bit and didn't see this poem. WOW! I truly feel the pain and anguish you write about. While I hope it was not from personal experience, I suspect it was, and for that I am so sorry.

From my 38 years of law enforcement, I've seen it all too many times but the thing that pisses me off the most is domestic and child abuse, which too often go hand in hand.

Sad poem but so well done! Thanks for sharing. - Will

Is Haunting. There are alot of layers to this piece. I'm going to have to read it a few times.

Sometimes the toxicity of a family member is so great the only solution is to cut them off. Now that last line which has been mentioned by others. If you are looking to add impact one way to do it is to isolate it from the rest of the poem by using a line space.Sometimes writing has as much to do with what Isn't there as what is.

You've said it so well. Like so many other commenters, I can identify with this verse. Family dynamics can get ugly. We are so blessed to have the medium of poetry to help us try to make sense of it and to survive it, aren't we? Glad you made it, fellow survivor!