Poem Body
We all dance in the nude almost …show all our assets almost …the drum beats almost… in synchronicity …. we show everything almost …people watch us intently almost… we dance almost … in our bikinis ….then someone pranks and loosens the threads...as we hold on to the bikinis … then let them drop almost… we enjoy dancing …as men rub along their hard ons ….we continue to dance …then pair off to another land …all of our own …each one with another one ….we pair..we pair..we pair… as the music continues to play …we dose on and make belief …we two each other dare to relieve…. we roll on in slumber ..almost
Comments
That is a very deep and
That is a very deep and powerful sentiment that you have there. It is well crafted and well put together. Smooth read and great phrasing. Nice work
thank you ma'am
u r also from Ontario
Esker is
Another crazed stream of moralic acid...
crude rubbish as usual with a twist of idiocy.
Jimm
keep to urself
son
no one wants ur views
least of all me
as u contribute nothing except curse
ur in need of help
and note
don't abuse
stay miles away from me ok
oh Jimm,
Loved is such an easy mark.
I would love to hear some real constructive crit from you.
My own poetry has little to offer at the moment but I will try to give your incisors to sink into.
yes i wanted a Xmas meal that didn't have to be cooked
Yes poor loved so loved of satan.
Jimm
my tribute to this poem
http://vocaroo.com/i/s183xFFoij7D
I hope it serves... almost.
Jess
Your reading of this piece , well if Loved could only capture those tones and your speech then this would be a great piece.
We need to find a way of converting these pieces the other way, you speak we write.
Thank you for this rendition it shone, Yours Ian.T
thanks for the tribute
must be good
couldn't hear
as am partial deaf
my dear