A cool summer rain is a blessing,
a panacea.
A wild winter wind is a cursing,
a cursing of God.
A warm autumn gale is relieving
from mad summer heat.
Spring has a special breeze sent from that God-
a cool summer rain.
Last Few Words: This is drivel and we all know it. Pastoral and I don't get along.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Hi wes
The last two lines could use a bit of work. As they are you state that a breeze is a cool summer rain. Would it be more correct to say a breeze as in a cool summer rain or a breeze within a cool summer rain or some such?
i really like this wes
But I would make the first two verses the last two
Love judy
xxx
Sir Wesley's best brevity
so you can be brief and to the point when you like to.
I loved this one. succinct and sweet.
I especially loved panancea... long since last time I heard it.
Thanks for sharing.