judyanne
judyanne
Jan 25, 2015
This poem is part of the workshop:

"Sonnets"...Let's Know More

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rebirth (A Petrarchan Sonnet - Sonnet workshop)

Poem Body

the bushfire season blazes every year
as summer heat ignites the tinder frame
of old and dried out trees and shrub, to claim
Australia’s outback creatures’ greatest fear

it rages uncontrolled, to char and sear
and animals and people, kill and maim
with many homes at risk to smoke and flame
the nation comes to fight, from far and near

but once the conflagration’s dimmed and died
a youthful green is seen there, through the land
and nascent buds are preening far and wide
from silvered ashes, phoenix-wise they stand
until the next combust, they’ll grow and bide
regeneration, just as nature planned

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

10 years 3 months ago

as it deals with a critical issue especially in Australia.
Smooth rhythm and rhyme scheme.
I had problem only with line eleven. ..New-born buds ....
as I think there is a series of stressed syllables. So, for the sake of the workshop it would be great if you show how you have scanned that specific line.

And not to forget, the volta is really distinguished.
Great work dear.
Thanks for sharing.

judyanne

'new-born buds' -- I originally scanned 'new-born' as one does with 'somewhere', the emphasis on the first word -- but I see by my dictionary that, even with the hyphen, they are both stressed...
- I will ponder on it some more - it's a shame though - I like 'new-born buds' :(
love judy
xxx

S

doesn't stanza 1 line 4 have one too many syllables" .I keep coming up with Australia having 4. Same problem seems to occur in first line of last stanza. The new born buds thing could easily be cured by "new sprouted buds.........." or newborn replaced by unfurled. Now I'm gonna duck behind this here screen while MM throws salvos of why-I'm-wrongs at me lol...........BTW the poem was pertinent and despite the syllable problems (or maybe because of them) it flowed well to me

judyanne

Even though I am Aussie, i just now checked my dictionary, just to be sure how my country is pronounced... (smile)
'Australia' - aw - STREYL - yuh

And the first verse of the last stanza?
but ONCE the CON-fla-GRAT-ion's DIMMED and DIED

and thanks for the suggestions - I have already edited 'new-born buds'

love judy
xxx

S

If you spoke the proper form of English (American Southern) it would be awSTRELeuh lol. Ain;t dialects fun ?........stan

judyanne

Not so much fun when trying to share/ agree on rhyme methinks, Stan
xxx

Rula

Rula

10 years 3 months ago

I thought the use of "nascent" is brilliant and fresh. I like it that much. :)

judyanne

lol - I wonder what those poor poets did in the olden days when there was no such thing as a dictionary - let alone a thesaurus
love judy
xxx

wesley snow

those writers and poets wrote their own. My family in Texas has in its possession a hand written rhyming dictionary of some 20,000 entries penned by George Gordon, Lord Byron.
Poets have always made the records they needed to return to without having to remember themselves.
One of the first publications after the Bible was a dictionary,
We have always had the power.

mand

mand

10 years 3 months ago

Awesome! Sorry I'm not around much - but I am managing to log in and hopefully learn a few things! :)

Love Mand xxx

judyanne

even if you don't write a whole sonnet, why don't you maybe try some iambic pentameter couplets for practice?

love judy
xxx

mand

I was up at 4.00am to finish off some wiring work ( solder dipping ) - and I'm off out this afternoon with my daughter / grandson - I think I've got a job between times, but it's not to urgent so I'll try and do it then.

Thanks for the encouragement Judy! :)

Love Mand xxx