Red river is overflowing her coasts
Red river infuses into eternity
So I become the red lake then the red ocean
Planets come to call my name and even then
I'm not able to understand anything
Of what I think they are saying
They simply can't be quiet as they seem
Let's say, that shadow,anyway, isn't more
Important from the body
I know my fingers well
I'm going to write a book in which
I'm going to put an autumn
Because cold wind is a feature of mine.
That is only the fact, that I'm choosing
Between poetry labyrinth
And spaces between leaves of deciduous forest
Sometimes you are quiet
But the silence isn't escape into the mountain
That is the place where the river
Isn't going down into the insides of Earth
But is overflowing the valley
That much, is completely enough for me
To touch the soul
Comments
Emina
Loved this where you fused with the surroundings, the write held my mind which is all we need of a piece of poetry,
Yours Ian.T
hello Ian
nice to see you here again
I wrote this couple of years ago
it's a bit different from the rest of my poems
somehow mystical
glad you like it
and thanks
glaciers scoured our mountians
left us with rounded hills...escarpments dulled and blunt
but majestic in their stout rise...a grade of trees to break away the
flat distance of other landscapes north and south of here..
love the water symbolism
the earth..the use of color
and trees....autumn...
i remember living beneath a hill
at dusk the darkness falling fast
the river valley full of fogs and
arriving mists
and in the fall the colours vibrant
the moon crisp the air haunted..
listening to Lykke Li "love me"
i have my loves..had my loves..
elusive this magic
touched....
thank you for your beautiful poetry
Mr Esker!
(P.S. i love your avatar pic! )
I knew you would like this
people like us
they have strong connection with nature
perfect science, my Medicine
those are things I understand and admire
they make me feel calm
in this chaos of a human mind
cheers Mr. Esker !
Emina
This poem floats on the river of your thoughts, coursing through mystical mind scapes. I enjoyed the ride rather the voyage. Thanks for posting..
raj
you always think about my thoughts lol
glad you like it
glad you're here
;)
Sorry emina, but I really don't like this.
How to explain constructively?
I could say something like it feels a lack of authenticity,
a consciously pretentious attempt at mysticism
achieved, if at all, through obscurity.
No, that is not good enough on my part, if I am going to deride a work like this I need to work harder at explaining why. I will come back to it, I promise, it is bookmarked.
All I can say for sure now is that in my gut it doesn't ring true. Sorry.
This does deserve more effort on my part.
I make no real attempt to subjectivity when I critique work
For starters I think it is a lie, we will be subjective no matter what devices we use to pretend otherwise.
I also happen to believe that once we post our work it no longer belongs to us but to our reader.
In this case, on returning to the work and reading it aloud I found I had missed it almost completely. This has far greater depth and meaning than I was at first able to perceive.
A fine, profound poem.
I hope my reading redresses at least some of my previous injustice.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1Ag7TMn4J5F