Redhead (by: eddy styx)

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Redhead" presents a vivid and emotional narrative, using descriptive language and imagery to convey a complex relationship dynamic. However, there are areas where clarity and structure could be improved to enhance the overall impact of the poem.

The poem's strength lies in its evocative imagery, such as "her huge green eyes stare (without) seeing, forever on a fixed point" and "mouth; cherry ripe lips seductively pouty. purple ribbons in her red hair." These lines paint a clear picture of the subject and add emotional depth to the narrative.

However, the poem's structure and punctuation could benefit from some refinement. The use of semicolons and commas seems inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow of the poem and confuse the reader. For instance, in the line "mouth; cherry ripe lips seductively pouty," it's unclear why a semicolon is used instead of a comma or line break.

Moreover, the narrative could be clearer. The transition from the "Tornado of impassioned night of anger turned ingrown" to the subject's "lost intelligence" is abrupt and might benefit from additional context or explanation.

Finally, the concluding line "she won the argument, but I, the battle" is a strong statement, but its meaning could be more impactful if the nature of the argument or battle was more explicitly defined earlier in the poem.

In summary, to enhance this poem, consider refining the punctuation and structure for better flow, providing more context for the narrative shifts, and more explicitly defining the conflict to give the concluding line more impact.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

is this one supposed to be in the 3 a.m. challenge? If it is, you forgot to post it there. ~ Geez.
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Emotionless by Red Sun Rising. Where he sits with his victim long after her death...in the end...he is disgusted because she is decomposing and falling apart..no longer the beauty he was trying to preserve. Well done Eddy.

chilling. ~ Geez.
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This brings to mind Jerome/Jeremiah from "Gotham", particularly the lines:

once, she was a brilliant
tactician her downfall
was assuming sanity
where there was none!

Geez is right! Truly chilling!

The only change that I might suggest is to the last two lines:

she won the argument,
but I, the battle...

to:

she won the argument,
but I, the war...

or:

she won the battle,
but I, the war...

or you could leave it as is.