loved
loved
Feb 19, 2014

The river of no return all above poetry is UNCRAP I wish you all could read

Poem Body

Two of us have already compared
lives to a running river ,
a friend in Alabama
and I myself,

You are the third one
we are all now runners up

the river never returns
we all know that
memories fade
we all know that
but the way you describe life
as a flowing river
none has done so ever

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ROU

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

11 years 2 months ago

I've played a bit with the lination.
Just thoughts if you like to consider

the river never returns
we all know that
memories fade
we all know that
but the way you describe life
as a flowing river
none has done so ever

loved

I somehow
at the last moment separated life
as in isolation
but tis well now
as you suggest also

loved

when you actually read my comment
which will be posted as a blog
as Neopoet limits
poets and poetic creation
hope Stan undoes
the blatant wrong
for which there is no cure
few have such creative ability
now in 2014*

*read as two zero one four

Seren

Not sure what you mean about being limited here ? I think its a rather open-minded site there is only a few really offensive things that are banned

not sure what you mean about Stan I don't have anything to do with all that stuff anymore

love JC xxx

loved

only post one poetry per day
as per jess rule
which stan
as in the chair should now overrule

when poets are in mood
they compose a billion
only some are read
jayne that's all
hope i have made myself clear

when i compose... i compose... at least four or five
earlier even 9
though maybe trash

Seren

I sometimes scratch out four or five poems a night but theres udually only one or two that are good enough to work on. If people could post unlimited poems our undiscovered poems list would be a mile long, i have to agree with the one a day rule lol

Love JC xxx

Race_9togo

i don't usually comment on your poems - all are good, with nothing to critique - but this line here

"we all are now runners up"

I think should be

"we are all now runners up"

sounds better, reads better, and removes a break in the cadence.

This one's most excellent.

I know what you mean about the 'one-a-day' rule...but think of the kind of dross we'd be innundated with, if the powers-that-be didn't slow us down a little bit!

loved

loved

11 years 2 months ago

i don't usually comment on your poems - all are good, with nothing to critique

r u serious some one will get annoyed

thanks a great deal jim ur kind to me

since corrected
thanks

S

But the river Does return
At its end the sun draws it up
to form clouds for its journey
and rebirth as gentle rain
of a renewed life
at some small spring once again
where might grow a feathered fern
which bids it adieu once again
as it begins new incarnation...........so much for lame free verse attempt lol........stan