A Rose By Any Other Name - ( Joint effort by Stan and Mand )

F = Father
M = Mother
B = Baby
D = Daughter

F
I am the mayor mister clump
and don't forget the mister
lest I give your ears a thump
thus raising a blood blister.

M
I am the lovely Mrs Clump
with red hot womanly wiles.
Hubby thinks that I'm top trump
'til he sees my ghastly piles.

B
Goo, goo, goo, goo
baby boy.
Just learning a few words,
smiles are not always for joy!

D
I might be a teenager,
a girl who's rather small
but I've got attitude
and I super hate you all.

F
We all shall celebrate today,
I got a well deserved promotion.
So we'll all dress up, then on our way
you can all show your devotion.

M
Oh can we go to Mac-y-dees?
We can eat their burgers by the ton
and baby Goo goo likes the cheese
that they insert inside the bun.

B
Oh boy some hot Micky french fries?
Plus cheesy buns and a soft drink
mommy, mommy google goo
I'll fill myself up to the brink!

D
What! Me go with you to Mac-y's
I'm on a diet don't you know!
Besides you're all embarrassing,
do I really have to go?

F
So in the car and down the road,
to the arches we will go
where we'll All eat a big load,
the bratty daughter also.

M
Just smell that gorgeous scrumptious smell
it gets the juices flowing.
One more burger – what the hell
my appetite is growing!

B
Burp and drool then eat some more
drink all the soda that I can,
drop lots of food on the tile floor
then mess my diaper 'cause I can.

D
Oh my god, I'm not with you
Dad! Tell them to stop being rude
look at the way they're eating
they're putting me off my food!

F
Hush your mouth child, I'm the boss
so they can eat to hearts content
and even ask for extra sauce,
this ain't the time for you to vent.

M
I must agree with daddy dear
let rip those slobber, sucky slurps
enjoy yourself and have no fear
Oops – now I think I've got the burps!

B
Hi mommy I feel funny
but I can't eat another bite
burp, burp, burp, aren't burps funny?
Next is the movies, ain't that right?

D
Well come on then! It's time to go
thank goodness it's not too far
'cos I'm feeling somewhat squashed
in this poky little old car!

F
Being the head of the household
the decision lies with me
so being both pompous and bold
I'll choose the movie and all will agree!

M
What would you like to see darling?
The decision of course is yours
Oh can we go see “The smoking”
I've heard that it gets great applause!

B
Mommy when will we get there?
It's time to change my pants
but we could do that anywhere
that's void of fire ants.

D
La la, I love this I phone
boom, bang...”I'll drive all night”..
Did somebody say something?
“these jeans are to tight....”

F
We're all in the movie show
and the place is full
I feel my belly start to grow
answering the gastric pull.

M
I too feel that gurgling,
that rumble in my tum,
the pressure is not equalling
and my butt is feeling numb!

B
Burp and poot
burp and poot
the fact we over ate
is turning kinda moot.

D
This poor gent sitting next to me
he's looking quite aghast
he's sitting stiff and ridged
from the stench that I just passed!

F
Now the movie's getting good
but stomach's rolling, getting loud,
must have been something in the food,
I wish I wasn't in a crowd.

M
I really love this movie show
but I think we've got some troubles
I for one will have to go
and Goo Goo's burping bubbles.

B
I sound like a whoopee cushion,
or a wet bugle
as I mess my diaper without pushin'
phhtt..phhhtttt google, google.

D
I wish I wasn't wedged in here
my bottom feels like dough
and I'm among this well dressed crowd
when I'm about to blow!

F
There's no doubt we need to leave
through this crowd that's packed so tight
( before we make it hard to breathe )
we stumble about in the low light.

M
I seem to have a rumble gut
because of Mac-y's fries
Oops there goes a buttock phutt
I do apologise!

B
I smile, I've left a little gift
in a diaper now dropping
and neighbours now form a little rift
trying to escape my pooping.

D
Oh dear! I need the exit door,
my tummies brewing yeast
excuse me sir, please let me through
before it's all released.

F
OMG I spread my legs
to step past another guy.
His forgiveness I need to beg
for releasing an anal sigh!

M
Goodness me! What in the world,
I've let it rip – at last.
But baby Goo, Goo's hair has curled
in the mighty, stinky blast.

B
You know what smiling babies mean!
I've already done my thing
making patrons turn light green,
while I smile and quietly sing!

D
Phew! It's good we're all outside
away from all that choking
No sir, Nooo, don't go in there
that billboard says no …....!**

We interrupt this program for breaking news!

In our fair town today
a movie theatre was blown away
apparently a gas explosion
killed all but one family chosen
who when asked about the gas leak
blushed deeply from bust to cheek.
Film will come here at eleven
of rubble and patrons sent to heaven!