Neopoem Of The Week 7/10/22 through 7/16/22 🏆 Winner

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RoseBlack

Poem Body

Sable wisps of clouds
Draped across a full moon sky
Shallow breaths echo
Against the silence of the trees

Her ebony boots crunched down
On the earth below
Not much further
Until….

Did you think you could escape me
You useless little witch
I bid you do my cooking, my cleaning
Satisfy me in bed without a hitch

She shook her raven head with recalcitrant fervor
I’m sorry, Wolf
I think you have me confused
With my sister Red

The wolf stood stunned
As she drew her sword
His lip curled in a snarl
How dare you defy your Master

He let out a howl
One that would be his last
As she pushed the sword
Deep into his chest

Cleaning her blade,
She grinned with a mischievous twitch
Foolish wolf, I was never your bitch
In case you were wondering…

My name is RoseBlack

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, Jim Morrison

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Hi

Love that twist at the end how about recalcitrant fervor, might make that sound more finished,just a suggestion

Hi

Thank you for your input. I do like the sound of that. Thank yoyou for the suggestion.

the slave! I like the fact that in all of the poem; you never use the word [black], only sable, ebony and raven. Giving the three variations of black that conjure up visions of different animals that are black. Nice job on the twisted ending. Wouldn't change a thing. ~ Geez.
.

Thanks Gee

This color challenge has been fun thus far. I didn't realize how many different words there are for each color and how each one gives a different feeling. Thank you for your praise.

dear Rose Black,

your language usage is excellent, you have combined in a way such as to entrance the reader. this is the kind of energy that stirs the blood! i think you should enter it in poet of the week! it is that good.
I was holding my breath during your escape, if felt my heart thud, when he caught up to you! but you stood with confidence and put him away:

Cleaning her blade,
She grinned with a mischievous twitch
Foolish wolf, I was never your bitch
In case you were wondering…

My name is RoseBlack
and I love this affirmation!

*hugs, Cat

Thank you

Perhaps I will enter it this week. Thank you for your insight as always. I am glad you enjoyed it. I have been having a bit of fun with words and it seems to be working.

This look like ..

As if I was reading Candlewitch poetry!. Sometimes Cat writes this type of poetry.

This sounds like a confrontational poetry!
Its an unsettling feeling to be the only one to think of something. Especially if you're surrounded by people who were minding thier own business until you had to think outloud. Now, one by one, they all start staring. Sencing something foreign. Not a single one them knows exactly how they feel about what you think.

And the one and only difference between people is that there will always be those people who never think about anything thing at all. Their entire lifetimes the thing that matters is how they feel. That’s where the crack in the world opens up.

Excellent piece!

Thank you Jack

I think you are spot on in your analysis of people as a whole. There are always those who only see their own needs as what matters and they surely do cause cracks not only In those closest to them but in society.