Poem Body
Scribbled Ink On Silk
Poets get it always, so write,
they peel fruit from the inside.
Fact, fiction, it’s no invite,
a bottle can’t control it’s tide.
Far too busy creating verse,
to care for dollar pound, or yen.
In truth or fable they immerse,
derision no put down for pen.
They can all write of special love,
far too many a broken tryst.
Many fables about a lord above,
happy am I for those he missed.
Scratched on wall or busy sidewalk,
beautifully written on softest silk.
It may offend, may even shock,
truly they love this tit they milk.
Comments
I like the ideas in the poem
i have some comments.
The Title. Eliminate the "...."
First stanza..not getting it. the first 2 lines don't make a sentence. The second two
don't make sense to me..the tide of a bottle?
Second stanza- the first line is not sentence, has a period. "derision no put down for pen." is very awkward grammar.
Third stanza- also first online not a sentence. How does the lord above "miss"... is that the angel of death perhaps. not sure what you mean here.
The last stanza is the best, and obviously I get it We all write poems about being a poet, but in truth,
only poets appreciate that...painters, composers just do their thing, poets seem to have to justify it. Non-poets don't really care about.
The poem needs more focus not on what you are trying to say here, but how.
Scribbling thoughts...will receive in turn the same. I hope mine are helpful.
The fact,
The fact that there are mistakes tells everything about what I was thinking here, I wrote this to point out that poets may not always be correct in their poems. Or can't always know the message will carry ( bottle tide etc ) but they should never stop writing. Regards Roscoe..
I got...
the reference to "the bottle can't control it's tide. Thinking; message in a bottle, the bottle floats where the tide takes it. Does [write] have a double meaning? I like the image of "peeling fruit from the inside", I can see that it might mean that poets often see things from a different perspective. I do believe that the Lord above and being happy for those he missed, [knowing your stance on religion], is about those who do not write about religion. ~ Geezer.
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Thank you Gee,
Thank you Gee, and yes write means we are not always right but we write. Regards Roscoe...